Can It Be? A Baby Factory?

First of all, Happy 17 Week Birthday to Orange Seed!

And now onto the heart of the matter...

Earlier this week, I went to my 16 week appointment. As usual, it was an hour drive round trip to/from the doctor's office and I was in and out of the actual appointment in under 15 mins. I remember reading posts back when I first found out I was pregnant and was looking for doctors. People repeatedly talked about how much they had disliked the fact that their doctor's office felt like a baby factory and I thought, "Ah, okay, this is similar to the 'I am the only bride in the world and you will recognize just how special I am, goldarnit' craziness that some women go through." But, the reality is, now that I'm experiencing it for myself, I do understand how those women feel. There is something so special (and frightening, and exhilarating, and confusing) about being pregnant. You can talk to other moms, you can talk to other pregnant women, you can talk to other parents, but the reality is that, especially as a first time mom, you are putting a lot of faith in the person you choose to be your OB. They are supposed to be your guide through 10 months of strange and new experiences. They are supposed to steer you toward the right path and protect you and your baby from all the dangers that are out there, from Swine Flu to undercooked meat. So when you go into the office and they rush you into an examination room, slap you down on the table, whip around doing the three or four things they need to get done without any explanation and then start backing out of the room while asking in a hopeful voice "So, no questions this visit?", you do feel a little put out.

My doctors are fine. They are friendly. They haven't done anything "wrong" per se. They just also haven't taken any extra time to do anything right. I feel like I have been a super easy patient so far. I haven't had too many questions, I'm not calling them at all hours of the night double checking what I can and can't eat. I'm a pretty easy case - young, healthy, easygoing. That said, I do wonder if I'm not getting shortchanged by not having doctors who are willing to take the time to sit down and provide me with some guidance. After all, I am no expert at this. I am open to some advice and guidance since otherwise I'm just winging it and going by what I've read in the books.

I remember during my first yoga class the instructor told us "All that you need to know about being a mother is already within you." I do believe that. If you were lucky enough to be raised in a healthy, happy home, I think you come into a pregnancy with the distinct advantage of already having thought about what you would do when your day came to be a parents. You have already identified the traits/approaches you like, the things your parents did which you most appreciated or which most affected you. You've thought about the things you would and wouldn't do once you had children of your own. Most importantly, you have already learned what it means to be loved unconditionally and so that love is already inside you, waiting to come out and be presented to your own child in the form of hopeful, motivated parenting, even if not perfect. I think children, though they have obvious basic needs, are highly unpredictable and you have to be ready to go with the flow to a great extent. That said, when the baby is in my belly, there are all kinds of random things I am/am not supposed to do. Plus, things change daily. Another piece of wisdom from the yoga instructor: "Listen to your body. Every day is different. Every day your body will need/want something else." That is the truth. I remember internally rolling my eyes a little at the beginning. The changes seemed to come so slowly and since I was lucky enough to feel pretty good during the first trimester, I really didn't feel like a whole lot was changing. Now, going into month 5, I can better see what she means. Things change. One day your jeans are perfectly comfortable, the next your stomach wants nothing to do with a non-elastic waistband. One day you can sit happily in your desk chair for hours, typing away like normal. The next day, your lower back is achy and your stomach doesn't like being bent over, and you just feel like you're suddenly having to adjust your position, attitude, life around this new body that doesn't always feel like it belongs to you. I can only imagine how much stranger things get once you are carrying around a full on beach ball stomach.

I don't know if I'll wind up changing doctors or not. We're definitely considering it. On the one hand, it seems so easy to just stick with what you already have/know. On the other hand, I do want to be with a practice where I feel like if I have questions, I don't have to feel guilty interrupting their schedule to ask them. We're scouting for other options right now and we'll just see how it goes. Either way, I will not be missing my Dec. 3rd appointment when hopefully Orange Seed will cooperate and let us see whether we are waiting on a baby girl or a baby boy. Even just hearing his/her heartbeat yesterday was so exciting. I haven't felt the baby move yet, so hearing that reassuring thump thump thump is the most wonderful feeling in the world. Hang in there Orange Seed. We're waiting on you!