One of the terrifying things about working from home is that you learn all about daytime television. Today, I learned that there is a show called "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". On today's episode, a 21-year old woman gave birth to a baby in her toilet. She sat down, feeling extremely constipated and pushed and pushed until *oops!* a baby popped out. She didn't realize it was a baby and not a BM until she tried to stand up and found that she was attached, via umbilical cord, to a baby in the bowl. No, I am not making this up. Now listen...I understand that there are a lot of stupid people out there, truly I do. It is damned near impossible to believe that you could go through nine months of pregnancy without realizing that something's up, but I've heard of it happening before and I can even believe that some people are so ignorant and out of tune with their bodies, that this does happen to them. Okay, no, I can't really believe that, I mean seriously...what funky stuff is wrong with your body that having a mini-human kicking around in there doesn't feel strange to you? What kind of crazy extra weight must you be carrying to not notice that you've suddenly gained an 8-lb person? But, because they kind of skipped over that whole bit in the tv episode I was watching, let's just focus on the final act. You are trying to tell me that you went into labor and just thought you were constipated? You are telling me that contractions felt like gas pains to you? Or that pushing out a BABY felt like taking a pooh? (Wow have I had a lot of pooh posts lately...)
Seriously...if you have been going through life such that your bowel movements feel like full on labor and birth, you should have seen a doctor a long LONG time ago. What have you been doing to yourself? And what the HECK have you been eating?
Is it wrong of me to think that if you can go through 9 months of pregnancy without realizing you're carrying a baby that maybe you aren't qualified to be a parent? There are a lot of subtleties involved in parenting and I'm thinking that if you can't manage to figure out you're giving birth, then figuring out when your child is hungry, tired, or ill is probably going to be a bit beyond you. Am I wrong?
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