Okay, I know it's not fair. I knew, before I ever hired a nanny, that Kayla takes naps and therefore there are times during the day when whomever is watching her is free from any caretaker duties. I knew that. And yet, whenever The Nanny is here and Kayla takes a 2-hour nap, the smell of dollars-a-fire fills my nostrils and I can't help but wonder, "What the hell am I paying this woman for?" Which is totally unfair, because, as I said, clearly I knew that part of a nanny's time here would be spent in chilling while Kayla naps. Plus, The Nanny is a very sweet woman who is seemingly great with Kayla when she is awake and I'm not trying to discount her caretaker skills or worth. But honestly...Kayla has been asleep for almost two full hours now. The Nanny is only here for 8 total. Kayla also took an almost 1-hour nap earlier this morning. That is three napping hours total today, which means that nearly half, HALF, The Nanny's day has been spent writing letters, talking on the phone and making lunch while Kayla slumbers. Burning...embers...of dollars hard-earned...and then The Nanny comes in and offers to make me tea and I feel terrible having just been questioning her monetary value. And every time I'm tempted to call it a day and say, "You know what, I don't know if this is working...", I think of something else I can do because she is here (hours of completely uninterrupted work, longer run, doctor's appointment, yoga class...) and I remind myself that if I get rid of her, that is it; there is no going back. And so, she remains. And she is lovely. But, goldarnit, this might be one of the bonuses to daycare - blissful ignorance of the amount of hours a day that you are paying someone to essentially do nothing.
Sigh....
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