Sometimes in the middle of a rough and tumble play session, Kayla will suddenly look up from her fit of giggles and simply stop and hug me. Those moments take my breath away because in those moments I see that she loves me in the same, incredible, overwhelming way that I love her. It is the best. feeling. ever.
Kayla will be 18 months old this coming Saturday. 18 MONTHS! I remember back when I would see Big Kids running through the park and I would say to their mothers "Oh my gosh, she/he is adorable. How old?" And the mom, without exception it seems, would answer "18 months." 18 months...and now my little baby is turning 18 months and I can't quite figure out how the time has gone by so quickly. It's funny, I've never had a good memory, but still...it's amazing how much has already faded from my mind in terms of what Kayla was doing three, six, 10 months ago. I try to remember what four months was like...I remember that was the month we took Kayla to the beach with my family. I remember that she had just started rolling over. I remember that I was getting toward the end of wanting to breast feed, but was also struggling emotionally to make the decision to stop. I remember that we couldn't really have Kayla in the sun at all, so when we went to the beach, she slept in a little tent and we waited to take her into the pool until the shadows had fallen across it in the afternoon. I remember that we were still struggling with her nighttime sleep habits, but I definitely can't remember if she was still up regularly in the middle of the night or what exactly those "habits" were. I know she was still getting up early, because I was not at all interested in staying up and playing beer pong with my cousins, knowing that I would hate myself for it when I was back on duty and exhausted at 0'dark hundred the next day. I remember that Kayla had lost all of her hair and was completely bald. I remember that she gave her first true belly laugh to her uncle John on the front porch of the house. Okay, that actually sounds like I remember a lot, but it's all from one one week period. I can't remember anything else about that month!
I have a lot of friends with brand new babies and so lately it seems like I'm constantly getting questions about "When do they..." and it's answering those questions that has made me realize how many details I've forgotten. I honestly could not tell you, without cheating, how old Kayla was when she first crawled. I want to say it was around seven months or so, but I can't pinpoint it in my mind. I also can't remember when she first was able to sit on her own...5 1/2 months? I don't remember when she officially got her first tooth and I can't tell you when we first let her try banana. And now I am starting to feel like a bad mom, but the reality is that there has been SO MUCH THAT HAS HAPPENED in this first 18 months, that it's really hard to keep it all organized in your head!! It's actually making me really thankful that I kept this blog and my little handwritten diary for Kayla. It's my cheat sheet for recalling all those facts and for reminding myself how far (and how fast!) Kayla has come.
These days, Kayla is in the midst of a word explosion. Not like a little bottle rocket explosion, but more like a volcano about to spout enough lava to form a new land mass explosion. It seems like every day Kayla says a new word. Her favorites right now are "Daddy", "Mama", "up", "shoes", "moon", "outside", "more", "dog", "hi" and "bye bye". She also says "cracker", "slide", "sign" (this last one because she is currently obsessed with her Baby Signing Time video and I guess she decided she better learn how to say the word if she wanted us to catch on when she was requesting a viewing session)...She says "sit" and occasionally breaks out with something new and completely random. Tonight, for instance, she was definitely asking for bath time. It may have sounded more like "flash fine", but in the context and with the help of hand gestures, she clearly got her point across. Almost more impressive, tonight, for the first time, she put two words together! She and I were sitting on the living room floor and she was attempting to put Chris' shoe onto her own foot when she looked up, looked me in the eyes, pointed down at the shoe and said "Daddy's shoe". !!!!! Daddy's shoe? My child is a genius!! Her ability to communicate is growing leaps and bounds. It's so funny to watch her now mimic not only word sounds, but intonation. Her inflection is spot on and hilarious, depending on what she is mimicking.
Kayla's also starting to throw out all kinds of sign language motions that I had no idea she was picking up. We did sign language light when she was younger. She never seemed that interested in it, so we tried to focus on the signs that would have been most helpful for her to know, like "more" and "all done". Lately though, she is suddenly using signs that I thought we had sort of let fall off the map. She now signs "banana" and "Mama", "dog" and "fish". She's funny about these later ones. With the exception of banana, most of the others she uses more when she's performing than when she's simply talking. It's clear that her getting a reaction when she uses the motions gets her all excited and so her gestures and her knowledge of the gestures gets exhibited a lot more when she knows that she has an audience. She even broke out the sign for "cracker" the other day...I about fell off my chair.
What else is Kayla up to...she is still a singing/dancing fool and is in love with anything and everything music. She sings "Twinkle Twinkle", "Row Row Row", "Happy Birthday", "ABCs" and she will often join in for parts of far more complicated songs. She is desperately in love with "A Whole New World" from Aladdin, as well as with "Part of Your World" and "Kiss The Girl" from the Little Mermaid. She is seriously lucky that while her mom may not remember when she first crawled, her mom does remember nearly every word to every Disney song ever made. Kayla is also a big fan of little song/rhymes like "Five Little Pumpkins", "Five Little Monkeys", "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Wheels on the Bus".
Kayla's also making crazy connections lately. For instance, the other night, she looked up at the sky, pointed to the big glowing orb above her head and said "Moon". So, I said "Yes, that's right, moon" and Kayla proceeded to launch into the "Moon Moon Moon" song that we used to sing in her baby yoga class. We saw a picture of a monkey in a book and when I told her it was a monkey, she started performing "Five Little Monkeys", hand gestures at all. And the cutest one yet...She has blocks downstairs; one of which has a koala on it. I pointed the koala out and named him, "Koala". Kayla put on finer to her lips and said "Shhh." Weird, I thought...so I pointed to the koala again - "Koala." "Shhhh," said Kayla. Same response. And then it clicked! Kayla has a book about Australian animals and on the last page is a sleeping koala and every time we get to that page, I say "Shhh. Koala is sleeping." CONNECTION! And it's so funny, because when you acknowledge the connection she made, she gets this big grin on her face like "I KNOW!! Am I incredible or what??" Seriously...how could you not worship this kid?
I have to say that with every passing day, I am more and more amazed at how much I love this little person. She makes me smile even on the worst days and her infectious smile, laugh and energy take all the stress out of you. Sure, she has her moments. We all do. And sure, sometimes after a long day of work, the last thing I want to do is change a diaper, go through a bedtime routine...but then we're lying there in that chair and she is cuddled up - face pressed into my neck, her legs wrapped around my waist and suddenly there is nowhere in the world I would rather be.
18 months...
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Family Hugs
You know what Kayla loves? Family hugs. She loves me to hold her while Daddy pulls us both in tight for a big bear hug. Because we've been saying "awww" when we give big hugs, she now says the same thing "awww" as she hugs us right back. And if she sees Chris and I hug and she's not involved...she comes running over, demands to be picked up and then goes in for the big "awww" again.
Seriously...how cute is my kid?
What have we been doing lately...everything and nothing at once. Life seems to fly by at the speed of light now that I am back in the office full-time. Between work, daycare, commutes to NY...we are living seriously busy lives. We're fitting the fun in where we can though. The other weekend, for instance, we went to the Baltimore Aquarium. Kayla loved the fish...for at least five minutes. Then she loved waving at people, running around like a crazy person through the dark, crowd infested tunnels...it was, well, it was fun, but HOLY GOD.
We've also been making plenty of time for park play. Slides, swings, big plastic cars in the crazy park where everyone brings their old push/ride/roll toys to donate...
Kayla is growing and changing every second of every day. She is my amazing little hero - tackling every new challenge with energy, enthusiasm and fire. I love her more every second.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
You are 16 going on 17
Kayla is now 16 going on 17 months old and her days of being a baby seem to be moving farther and farther behind her. She is such a little KID now. She has all of these thoughts and feelings and needs and desires. She is exercising her right to direct her own world and she is trying desperately to express herself in a way that the big people can understand. She is no longer aimlessly babbling, trying out new sounds simply for the sake of making them. Instead, she is combining "words" and hand signals to get across actual points and she is looking us dead in the eye and saying "Ah ga baba dada ga?" with such intent and perfect inflection that we can almost understand what it is she's trying to say. Almost. She's also developing more and more true words every day, although her favorite form of communication is still singing. The child sings non-stop, all day, every day, running through a repertoire of songs that would impress even the most advanced karaoke machine. And she sings IN TUNE. I kid you not, the child will sing a song and it is crystal clear which one she is crooning, be it Twinkle Twinkle, Row Row Row Your Boat, The ABC Song, or The Wheels on the Bus. I don't know...maybe all kids can do this, but honestly, I don't think so. This kid has some musical talent.
Back to the words though. The newest word in Kayla's repertoire is "outside". Yes, "outside". Before she says "bowl" or "cheese" or "mama", she says "outside". I want to be bothered by "mama" still getting shoved to the background, but to have her say "outside" as one of her very first words...I'm also a little bit proud. Thanks to Lake Ontario, who clearly inspired this need to finally voice her love of the outdoors. We spent the weekend at a friend's cabin this past week and after running around the huge yard and surrounding fields like a crazy person all night, Kayla woke up our second morning, rushed straight for the patio door and started shouting "OUTSIDE! OUTSIDE! OUTSIDE!" My daughter rocks.
Other than the vocal milestones, Kayla has started to work on her climbing skills - oh. yip. pee. And she is focused on trying to imitate everything we do. On the plus side, this includes brushing her teeth and hair. On the downside, it includes trying to walk down the stairs. On the plus side, it means being eager to throw things in the trash when asked. On the downside, it means putting things into the trashcan when NOT ASKED, i.e. when Mom isn't looking and she finds a clearly trash-worthy bowl, pair of sunglasses and set of house keys.
The other thing Kayla has developed is an ability to run.
Like the wind.
Nearly every day for the past two weeks, we've gotten a call from her daycare:
"Hello, Mrs. Duck. Everything is fine, but we wanted you to know that Kayla fell and bumped her [insert new body part of the day here] today."
When I picked her up yesterday, I signed yet another pink slip saying that no, I will not sue them for Kayla's newest bruise, when the teacher said to me, "You know...we have been calling you a lot."
"Yep. Almost every day."
"Yeah...you know...the problem is that Kayla doesn't walk. She runs. She runs really really fast. And she never stops. And so when she trips and falls...it's a big fall."
My daughter doesn't walk. She runs. She runs and she climbs and she rolls and she climbs and she spins and she stomps and she is a crazy little whirlwind monkey monster.
And she is hilarious.
She has a book of actions which is one of her new favorites. It says things like "I am a seal and I clap my hands. Can you do it?" and "I am a cat and I arch my back. Can you do it?" And there she is, trying to do every maneuver. She watches us and tries to do what we do. She watches me squat and she squats. She sees a kid on the playground Jump and she Jumps. She sees everything and she understands so much more than you would think. Another part of the same book shows a row of ducks. First it shows their "fronts", then it shows their "backs". I say to Kayla, "Front. Back." and I kid you not, Kayla, without any prompting, first points to her belly/chest and then tries to reach around to grab her back. Seriously...how does she learn these things?
All of these developments, all of these changes...it's not all fun and games though. The last week, in fact, we've been dealing with something kind of tough. For a number of nights running, Kayla has been waking up in the middle of the night screaming. Not crying or whining, but screaming. She is screaming like someone is stabbing her in the stomach or like some terrifying monster is pawing at her crib. It's horrifying. Last night, even after I went in, picked her up and tried talking to her, touching her back, rocking her, she kept screaming and screaming. All I can think is that it's night terrors - that she's not really awake and that's why my being there doesn't comfort her like it normally would. The experience is horrific. Not being able to comfort her is the worst. And the sleep deprivation ain't a lot of fun either. I'm hoping it's a short phase...that it will pass quickly like so many of the phases do. It's not a fun phase. It's a scary one and I'm trying to resist calling the pediatrician to ask for advice on something that I'm sure they'll say "will pass".
But no more talk of that. Putting her to bed tonight was rough and, frankly, I'm ready to simply pass out myself and be done with the day. But before I do that, here are some happy pictures of the little munchkin who, despite the recent sleepless nights, still makes me fall in love with her over and over again, each and every day.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Down Days
As of next week, I will officially have been in Virginia for two months and Kayla will have been here for slightly more than one. While we're starting to settle in and most days are good, I have to admit that I still have days where it's simply...hard.
I was so incredibly fortunate to spend that first year at home with Kayla. Being there for all of her firsts, for all of those amazing moments where the light bulb popped on over her head, was a precious gift. Being able to take afternoon naps after Kayla had a bad night...likewise, a gift. That said, there were days that I longed for the adult stimulation that work provides and there were days I longed to go back to doing something more intellectually stimulating than dreaming up new mushed food recipes. Now that I'm back here though, I realize how hard it really is to do it all. I'm certainly not the first one to talk about this - there is literature everywhere discussing these ideas in far more depth and eloquent detail than I will attempt here - but it has occurred to me many times over the past weeks that the "freedom" women now have to be both mother and professional, can be its own kind of prison. Certainly, being the feminist that I am, I am glad I have the choice. I am glad that I can choose to work and to raise my child. That said, some days when I am trying to be the best I can be at both of my chosen careers, I find myself feeling tired, a little overwhelmed and, sometimes, stretched a little thin. This schedule...I wake at 0600, hoping to get a shower and to get ready before Kayla wakes up. If that works, great. If it doesn't, it is rush rush rush to get ready while trying to entertain her, keep her happy and keep her from running off to find something dangerous to do. Not easy. Then it's rush to get her ready and to get us out of the house. We rush to daycare because if I don't drop her off early enough, then I don't get to work early enough and then I can't leave work early enough to get back to pick her up at a reasonable time. So, it's up at 0600, out of the house with Kayla by 0715. We get to daycare by 0730/0745 and I get to work by 0800/0815. I work my 8.5 hours and then rush back to pick her up, hopefully no later than 1715, so that we can get home no later than 1800 so that we have time to get her dinner before she is starving, to have some brief playtime together, to have time for a bath and for reading, singing and relaxing together before bed and then it's down to bed for Kayla by 2030 and, let's be honest, by 2130 for me. It's a packed day. And the hardest part is that this leaves me with essentially no "me" time. I have Kayla in the morning, then coworkers all day long, then Kayla in the evening and then one blessed hour in which I basically shovel down some dinner, brush my teeth, wash my face, climb in bed and maybe get in a chapter of my book. I'm not trying to complain. Obviously, there are people who have it way worse, but I'm trying to explain why some days...some days are harder than others. On the days when Kayla didn't sleep well the night before or when I have had stress at work or when Kayla has decided that it's temper tantrum time or when I realize that it's now been three months since I last got my hair done and my highlights start about mid-neck...well, those days are harder. Or one days like today, when Kayla reverts to clinging to me and sobbing hysterically when I drop her off...oh, God. I can't explain how horrible that feeling is...Even knowing she'll be fine before I've ever left the room, even knowing that she likely has a fabulous time playing all day, even knowing that she isn't really mad at me, she is only saying "I love you, Mama. Can't you stay and play too?" Even knowing all that, it still breaks my heart to leave her behind. The guilt of "abandoning" her every day is unbearable. And I don't feel it every day. Not anymore. But there are still those occasional mornings, like today, where I tell her goodbye while wanting nothing more than to pull her back into my arms and to take us both out to the park to spend a Mommy-Daughter day laughing in the sun.
I was so incredibly fortunate to spend that first year at home with Kayla. Being there for all of her firsts, for all of those amazing moments where the light bulb popped on over her head, was a precious gift. Being able to take afternoon naps after Kayla had a bad night...likewise, a gift. That said, there were days that I longed for the adult stimulation that work provides and there were days I longed to go back to doing something more intellectually stimulating than dreaming up new mushed food recipes. Now that I'm back here though, I realize how hard it really is to do it all. I'm certainly not the first one to talk about this - there is literature everywhere discussing these ideas in far more depth and eloquent detail than I will attempt here - but it has occurred to me many times over the past weeks that the "freedom" women now have to be both mother and professional, can be its own kind of prison. Certainly, being the feminist that I am, I am glad I have the choice. I am glad that I can choose to work and to raise my child. That said, some days when I am trying to be the best I can be at both of my chosen careers, I find myself feeling tired, a little overwhelmed and, sometimes, stretched a little thin. This schedule...I wake at 0600, hoping to get a shower and to get ready before Kayla wakes up. If that works, great. If it doesn't, it is rush rush rush to get ready while trying to entertain her, keep her happy and keep her from running off to find something dangerous to do. Not easy. Then it's rush to get her ready and to get us out of the house. We rush to daycare because if I don't drop her off early enough, then I don't get to work early enough and then I can't leave work early enough to get back to pick her up at a reasonable time. So, it's up at 0600, out of the house with Kayla by 0715. We get to daycare by 0730/0745 and I get to work by 0800/0815. I work my 8.5 hours and then rush back to pick her up, hopefully no later than 1715, so that we can get home no later than 1800 so that we have time to get her dinner before she is starving, to have some brief playtime together, to have time for a bath and for reading, singing and relaxing together before bed and then it's down to bed for Kayla by 2030 and, let's be honest, by 2130 for me. It's a packed day. And the hardest part is that this leaves me with essentially no "me" time. I have Kayla in the morning, then coworkers all day long, then Kayla in the evening and then one blessed hour in which I basically shovel down some dinner, brush my teeth, wash my face, climb in bed and maybe get in a chapter of my book. I'm not trying to complain. Obviously, there are people who have it way worse, but I'm trying to explain why some days...some days are harder than others. On the days when Kayla didn't sleep well the night before or when I have had stress at work or when Kayla has decided that it's temper tantrum time or when I realize that it's now been three months since I last got my hair done and my highlights start about mid-neck...well, those days are harder. Or one days like today, when Kayla reverts to clinging to me and sobbing hysterically when I drop her off...oh, God. I can't explain how horrible that feeling is...Even knowing she'll be fine before I've ever left the room, even knowing that she likely has a fabulous time playing all day, even knowing that she isn't really mad at me, she is only saying "I love you, Mama. Can't you stay and play too?" Even knowing all that, it still breaks my heart to leave her behind. The guilt of "abandoning" her every day is unbearable. And I don't feel it every day. Not anymore. But there are still those occasional mornings, like today, where I tell her goodbye while wanting nothing more than to pull her back into my arms and to take us both out to the park to spend a Mommy-Daughter day laughing in the sun.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
From The Ether
Hello my friends. Are you still there? Are you checking in religiously and cursing my name for having posted NOTHING in two months? (Ahem, Anna...)
I know.
I suck.
Or maybe you aren't even bothering to read anymore in which case you are missing my self-deprecating confession of sins.
Does that make sense? Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. Be glad that I'm writing at all, mmmkay? Linguistic feasibility aside.
So...
Where in the world are The Ducks??
As of this week, that question, though still loaded, got a teeny, tiny bit easier to answer. The Ducks are officially back in their home in Vienna, VA. That's right. We have a home, complete with our possessions. To some, this is every day...for us, this is a special special thing. For the last month or so, we've been living in the utter chaos. Here's a little description of how things have gone...
May 16 - Erin packs up as many of her worldly possessions as possible and moves into a lovely hotel room near Dulles International Airport in Virginia. There she stays for one week while waiting to make the transition to living with some very giving friends in "A Land Far Far Away" (or, as it is more commonly known, Gainesville, VA).
May 19 - Kayla, who has been spending some quality alone time with Daddy in Hoboken, gets picked up and transported down to Williamsburg, VA, courtesy of the Grandma/Grandpa Spatz shuttle. There she will stay for the next 3 1/2 weeks while her parents try to figure out how the heck all this is going to work.
May 20-22 - Erin rushes down to Williamsburg to see her much missed daughter. The trip is sweet, but far too short and Erin bawls her eyes out on the drive back to DC.
May 23 - Erin starts her new position in DC (STRRRRESSSSS) and moves in with the Gainesville Friends. She now has a FANTASTIC 1+ hour commute.
May 27-30 - Erin and Chris (who is still up in The Hoboken working) both rush back to Williamsburg to see the Snuzz. They get to spend a long weekend there, which is a Godsend. Erin bawls like a baby on the way back to DC (are you seeing a pattern?)
June 3-5 - Erin rushes back down to Williamsburg for another visit. It's decided that Kayla should stay in Williamsburg through June 12th. Erin bawls the whole way back to DC, but knows it's the right decision - time to pack, time to arrange, time to get ready for the move-in on the 13th, less chance of traumatizing the baby by moving her between three different places in the span of one week...The last week is incredibly lonely and painful all the same.
June 12 - Kayla finally arrives in DC and she, Mommy and a visiting Aunt K spend one more night in Gainesville.
June 13 - Kayla has her first day of "school", although she only goes for a trial two hours. Aunt K and Mommy then get all our stuff packed out of the Gainesville house and unpacked into our new Vienna home. Kayla gets to sleep in her new room. Daddy arrives late that night, after having spent the day with the packers in Hoboken. He and Mommy spend a super uncomfortable night on a blow-up mattress while Aunt K sleeps on a futon in the basement.
June 14 - Mommy has to go to work, so Daddy and Aunt K handle meeting the movers when they arrive in VA. The house gets filled top to bottom with boxes and furniture...it is a mess. Kayla spends four hours at daycare. When she gets to daycare, she gets down, starts to play...but when Mommy says goodbye, Kayla starts to sob runs for Mommy's legs. Mommy sobs her way to work.
June 15 - Kayla goes to daycare for a full day! She gets quiet as soon as we walk into the building. As soon as I try to set her down, she starts to sob and clings to me as though I were a cliff edge and she was about to fall. I sob my way to work yet again. Aunt K and Chris head back up to NYC and Mommy and Kayla spend their first night alone in the mostly unpacked, totally disastrous house.
June 16 and 17 - Mommy and Kayla repeat the pattern of Kayla sobbing when Mommy drops her off and Mommy sobbing her way to work. Mommy thinks her heart might break.
And so on and so forth...Daddy came back down for the weekend through Tuesday night, which was AWESOME. Kayla and Mommy miss him so much and having the family separated for this long is really really really getting old.
The daycare thing...the mornings last week were horrible. Kayla sobbed, I sobbed...It was truly the worst feeling in the world to "abandon" her there every day. That said, when I would come to pick her up, she was always CLEARLY having fun. She would be playing, laughing and they would swear that within 5 minutes of me leaving in the morning, she was fine. It didn't make it easier. But the nights...oh the nights were so wonderful. I would go to pick Kayla up and she would spot me from across the room, burst into a beaming smile that made the sun seem dim, would run at me, throw herself into my arms and hug and hug and hug. She was in the BEST mood every night. No matter how little she'd slept at daycare, she was an angel at night. We would lie in the rocking chair together, singing, reading and cuddling...those moments took my breath away and I have never been more glad to have free minutes with that little person.
This week daycare has gone MUCH better. Monday she got down willingly and ran off to play - I think she'd honestly forgotten the previous week's trauma. She did bawl when I left, but I heard it end before I'd reached the front door. Tuesday - she didn't want to get down, but she cried for an even shorter amount of time and today...today she barely cried at all and I could have cheered. I have now driven to work three days in a row without crying. I mean not one tear. There is hope!
Anyway, life is still chaos, but we're starting to sort of settle in. Chris is still back and forth to NYC...Kayla is still figuring out daycare...I'm still figuring out how to work full-time and get dinner on the table...but we're getting there!!
Hang in with me...I may not be great about updating in the coming weeks, but I'll try!! Wait for me!
I know.
I suck.
Or maybe you aren't even bothering to read anymore in which case you are missing my self-deprecating confession of sins.
Does that make sense? Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. Be glad that I'm writing at all, mmmkay? Linguistic feasibility aside.
So...
Where in the world are The Ducks??
As of this week, that question, though still loaded, got a teeny, tiny bit easier to answer. The Ducks are officially back in their home in Vienna, VA. That's right. We have a home, complete with our possessions. To some, this is every day...for us, this is a special special thing. For the last month or so, we've been living in the utter chaos. Here's a little description of how things have gone...
May 16 - Erin packs up as many of her worldly possessions as possible and moves into a lovely hotel room near Dulles International Airport in Virginia. There she stays for one week while waiting to make the transition to living with some very giving friends in "A Land Far Far Away" (or, as it is more commonly known, Gainesville, VA).
May 19 - Kayla, who has been spending some quality alone time with Daddy in Hoboken, gets picked up and transported down to Williamsburg, VA, courtesy of the Grandma/Grandpa Spatz shuttle. There she will stay for the next 3 1/2 weeks while her parents try to figure out how the heck all this is going to work.
May 20-22 - Erin rushes down to Williamsburg to see her much missed daughter. The trip is sweet, but far too short and Erin bawls her eyes out on the drive back to DC.
May 23 - Erin starts her new position in DC (STRRRRESSSSS) and moves in with the Gainesville Friends. She now has a FANTASTIC 1+ hour commute.
May 27-30 - Erin and Chris (who is still up in The Hoboken working) both rush back to Williamsburg to see the Snuzz. They get to spend a long weekend there, which is a Godsend. Erin bawls like a baby on the way back to DC (are you seeing a pattern?)
June 3-5 - Erin rushes back down to Williamsburg for another visit. It's decided that Kayla should stay in Williamsburg through June 12th. Erin bawls the whole way back to DC, but knows it's the right decision - time to pack, time to arrange, time to get ready for the move-in on the 13th, less chance of traumatizing the baby by moving her between three different places in the span of one week...The last week is incredibly lonely and painful all the same.
June 12 - Kayla finally arrives in DC and she, Mommy and a visiting Aunt K spend one more night in Gainesville.
June 13 - Kayla has her first day of "school", although she only goes for a trial two hours. Aunt K and Mommy then get all our stuff packed out of the Gainesville house and unpacked into our new Vienna home. Kayla gets to sleep in her new room. Daddy arrives late that night, after having spent the day with the packers in Hoboken. He and Mommy spend a super uncomfortable night on a blow-up mattress while Aunt K sleeps on a futon in the basement.
June 14 - Mommy has to go to work, so Daddy and Aunt K handle meeting the movers when they arrive in VA. The house gets filled top to bottom with boxes and furniture...it is a mess. Kayla spends four hours at daycare. When she gets to daycare, she gets down, starts to play...but when Mommy says goodbye, Kayla starts to sob runs for Mommy's legs. Mommy sobs her way to work.
June 15 - Kayla goes to daycare for a full day! She gets quiet as soon as we walk into the building. As soon as I try to set her down, she starts to sob and clings to me as though I were a cliff edge and she was about to fall. I sob my way to work yet again. Aunt K and Chris head back up to NYC and Mommy and Kayla spend their first night alone in the mostly unpacked, totally disastrous house.
June 16 and 17 - Mommy and Kayla repeat the pattern of Kayla sobbing when Mommy drops her off and Mommy sobbing her way to work. Mommy thinks her heart might break.
And so on and so forth...Daddy came back down for the weekend through Tuesday night, which was AWESOME. Kayla and Mommy miss him so much and having the family separated for this long is really really really getting old.
The daycare thing...the mornings last week were horrible. Kayla sobbed, I sobbed...It was truly the worst feeling in the world to "abandon" her there every day. That said, when I would come to pick her up, she was always CLEARLY having fun. She would be playing, laughing and they would swear that within 5 minutes of me leaving in the morning, she was fine. It didn't make it easier. But the nights...oh the nights were so wonderful. I would go to pick Kayla up and she would spot me from across the room, burst into a beaming smile that made the sun seem dim, would run at me, throw herself into my arms and hug and hug and hug. She was in the BEST mood every night. No matter how little she'd slept at daycare, she was an angel at night. We would lie in the rocking chair together, singing, reading and cuddling...those moments took my breath away and I have never been more glad to have free minutes with that little person.
This week daycare has gone MUCH better. Monday she got down willingly and ran off to play - I think she'd honestly forgotten the previous week's trauma. She did bawl when I left, but I heard it end before I'd reached the front door. Tuesday - she didn't want to get down, but she cried for an even shorter amount of time and today...today she barely cried at all and I could have cheered. I have now driven to work three days in a row without crying. I mean not one tear. There is hope!
Anyway, life is still chaos, but we're starting to sort of settle in. Chris is still back and forth to NYC...Kayla is still figuring out daycare...I'm still figuring out how to work full-time and get dinner on the table...but we're getting there!!
Hang in with me...I may not be great about updating in the coming weeks, but I'll try!! Wait for me!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Sunshine on a Cloudy Day
*Sigh*
Best. Party. Ever.
With perfection in every form, Kayla's first birthday party was a great success. She was the happiest, most affectionate, most entertaining birthday girl I have ever seen. She smiled and laughed and played with not one moment of fussiness, despite being surrounded by 30 people and no time for a nap. She put up with the monster tutu that her mommy put her in, she wore her birthday hat without a complaint and when it came time for her cupcake, she dove right in and made a beautiful photo perfect mess, just as every first birthday parent hopes their child will. She was wonderful. She was perfect. She is my baby and I couldn't help but get choked up a few times yesterday watching her turn into a delightful little kid. She is maturing every day, becoming more and more of a toddler and less and less of a baby. She figures things out at lightening speed and is becoming shockingly self-sufficient in some ways. She is also becoming quite the show-boater and to prove that point, Kayla chose to wait until yesterday afternoon, when she was surrounded by family and friends, to take her very first steps. The room erupted and she beamed around at everyone, clapped her hands and went "Yay!!!!" My daughter...I can't express how grateful I am to have her in my life. She creates sunshine where I might otherwise have had a cloudy day and she is constantly reminding me that "Hey, it's not that bad. It's never that bad." After all the hoopla was finished yesterday, she and I lay in bed reading books before it was time for night-night and I marveled at this cuddly little body who means more to me than anything else in the world. You can't know until you have a child how much your parents love you. There is nothing like it in the world. It's magic.
And so, Kayla Potata, Happy Birthday and Happy First Year of Life. You are a magical, wonderful, special little girl and your Mommy and Daddy love you with all their hearts. Continue to be brave, continue to be curious, continue to be loving and continue to be kind. You become more and more amazing every day and I can't wait to see what this next year brings.
And for those of you who have been asking for pictures of all my arts and crafts, I've tried to include pics below. Hard to capture the full effect, but trust me...it was wow worthy. :)
Front Door - the theme for the party - "Baby in Bloom" (Flower says "Kayla is 1", while the stem spells out the theme)
Month Banner - A number and picture from each of the first 11 months!
The Birthday Girl takes her first steps!
The Spread...
The Dessert Table:
Themed Yumminess:
Custom Labels and Toothpicks with Spring Leaves:
Kayla-ified Cupcakes!!!
The Best Part of All:
And finally, why babies and sugar don't mix:
Best. Party. Ever.
With perfection in every form, Kayla's first birthday party was a great success. She was the happiest, most affectionate, most entertaining birthday girl I have ever seen. She smiled and laughed and played with not one moment of fussiness, despite being surrounded by 30 people and no time for a nap. She put up with the monster tutu that her mommy put her in, she wore her birthday hat without a complaint and when it came time for her cupcake, she dove right in and made a beautiful photo perfect mess, just as every first birthday parent hopes their child will. She was wonderful. She was perfect. She is my baby and I couldn't help but get choked up a few times yesterday watching her turn into a delightful little kid. She is maturing every day, becoming more and more of a toddler and less and less of a baby. She figures things out at lightening speed and is becoming shockingly self-sufficient in some ways. She is also becoming quite the show-boater and to prove that point, Kayla chose to wait until yesterday afternoon, when she was surrounded by family and friends, to take her very first steps. The room erupted and she beamed around at everyone, clapped her hands and went "Yay!!!!" My daughter...I can't express how grateful I am to have her in my life. She creates sunshine where I might otherwise have had a cloudy day and she is constantly reminding me that "Hey, it's not that bad. It's never that bad." After all the hoopla was finished yesterday, she and I lay in bed reading books before it was time for night-night and I marveled at this cuddly little body who means more to me than anything else in the world. You can't know until you have a child how much your parents love you. There is nothing like it in the world. It's magic.
And so, Kayla Potata, Happy Birthday and Happy First Year of Life. You are a magical, wonderful, special little girl and your Mommy and Daddy love you with all their hearts. Continue to be brave, continue to be curious, continue to be loving and continue to be kind. You become more and more amazing every day and I can't wait to see what this next year brings.
And for those of you who have been asking for pictures of all my arts and crafts, I've tried to include pics below. Hard to capture the full effect, but trust me...it was wow worthy. :)
Front Door - the theme for the party - "Baby in Bloom" (Flower says "Kayla is 1", while the stem spells out the theme)
Month Banner - A number and picture from each of the first 11 months!
The Birthday Girl takes her first steps!
The Spread...
The Dessert Table:
Themed Yumminess:
Custom Labels and Toothpicks with Spring Leaves:
Kayla-ified Cupcakes!!!
The Best Part of All:
And finally, why babies and sugar don't mix:
Monday, April 11, 2011
Spring Things (The Good, The Bad and The Bizarre)
Oh God, Oh God, Oh God...
So, Kayla has had the never-ending cold from Hades for about six weeks now. I think it was a train of two, maybe three colds, really, but it has basically left her sniffling and coughing for the last month and a half. And though she seemed like she was starting to feel better yesterday - great appetite, in great spirits, conquering all kinds of new feats (more on that), today she seems to have taken a few steps backward and she's having a tough go of it. The poor thing is just dripping snot and her cough is horrendous. To top it all off, she is pulling constantly at her ear. To this, I say, "NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!" You can not do this to me Virus Gods! You can not give my baby her first ear infection on the week of her birthday. I will not allow it. You back on off of my baby and you leave her healthy and happy, preferably forever, but I'll take until next Monday. Honestly...timing is a b****.
In other news though, yesterday was a major Big Girl Day for Kayla. We are supposed to be transitioning her from the bottle to a sippy cup. She has been drinking water from her sippy cup for a long time now and does great, but we are now supposed to be giving up bottles and only drinking from cups. Sigh...my baby is a toddler. Anyway, the first couple of times I gave this a go, she pretty much refused to take her milk from a cup. She would eagerly grab the cup, take a big sip and then go "Waaaaait a minute! This is not water!" and she would set the cup down, give me a look of disdain and then patiently refuse to drink any more milk until it was transferred to a bottle where it belongs, silly woman. So, realizing that her birthday is now almost here and that most of the daycare centers we're looking at have kids transitioned to sippy cups by 12 months, I decided yesterday that I better give it another go. This time, I tried it with her first bottle of the day, thinking maybe she'd be too hungry to refuse. Sure enough, without hesitation, she sucked it all down. Victory! Then, her second bottle of the day...I was 100% anticipating she would now be less hungry and would return to giving me the "Are you a moron" look...Sluuuuuurp. Sucked it right down again! Victory x 2! I have absolutely no idea what made the difference yesterday, but she didn't even blink while drinking every last ounce of milk from those cups. I wasn't brave enough to try it before bedtime but, despite a little hesitation this morning, her first milk of the day once again came in cup format. Looks like the transition may happen after all!
So, that was the first big girl thing. The second thing was that we went out to dinner last night and Kayla used a straw! She has tried numerous times before, but usually just winds up chewing frustratedly on the straw, looking at me like "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?" This time, she chewed, stopped, chewed, stopped, chewed, stopped then sucked! And then sucked some more! And then got all excited and drank the rest of my very yummy carrot juice. Can kids have carrot juice? Let's hope so! But yep, two Big Girl mountains conquered in one day. This kid is growing up way too fast.
In non-Kayla related news, it is spring time. It is spring time and this means that the Easter Bunny has returned to a mall near you. Can I just say, right here, right now, that the Easter Bunny is a scary bizarre freak of nature? I mean, really...A gigantic, walking, talking rodent that steals some poor chickens eggs, paints them funny colors and then hides them in strange and unlikely places? Who came up with this? The Catholic Encyclopedia, of course, says: "The rabbit is a pagan symbol and has always been an emblem of fertility." So, the fertility god rabbit brings pretty painted EGGS to small children? Creepier and creepier. Laugh all you want, but the Easter Bunny seriously freaks me out. I mean, really...
Do I really have to introduce my child to this? Can't we do egg and basket hunts (because those are just way too fun) without having to get into the whole "The Easter Bunny brought it," thing? Can't we just celebrate spring and talk about flowers blooming, chicks being hatched, etc., without discussing some humongous rabbit who somehow managed to get past our security system? I keep seeing Easter bunnies around town and, let's be honest, this is the weirdest tradition in the history of holidays. Well, no, that's not fair. There are some pretty bizarre holiday traditions in every corner of the world...ever been to India? But that is a story for another time. But this bunny...why? I can't help it, I am a little bit glad that Kayla is still too young for Easter and we have time left to figure out how to handle it. Easter Bunny...ugh.
So, Kayla has had the never-ending cold from Hades for about six weeks now. I think it was a train of two, maybe three colds, really, but it has basically left her sniffling and coughing for the last month and a half. And though she seemed like she was starting to feel better yesterday - great appetite, in great spirits, conquering all kinds of new feats (more on that), today she seems to have taken a few steps backward and she's having a tough go of it. The poor thing is just dripping snot and her cough is horrendous. To top it all off, she is pulling constantly at her ear. To this, I say, "NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!" You can not do this to me Virus Gods! You can not give my baby her first ear infection on the week of her birthday. I will not allow it. You back on off of my baby and you leave her healthy and happy, preferably forever, but I'll take until next Monday. Honestly...timing is a b****.
In other news though, yesterday was a major Big Girl Day for Kayla. We are supposed to be transitioning her from the bottle to a sippy cup. She has been drinking water from her sippy cup for a long time now and does great, but we are now supposed to be giving up bottles and only drinking from cups. Sigh...my baby is a toddler. Anyway, the first couple of times I gave this a go, she pretty much refused to take her milk from a cup. She would eagerly grab the cup, take a big sip and then go "Waaaaait a minute! This is not water!" and she would set the cup down, give me a look of disdain and then patiently refuse to drink any more milk until it was transferred to a bottle where it belongs, silly woman. So, realizing that her birthday is now almost here and that most of the daycare centers we're looking at have kids transitioned to sippy cups by 12 months, I decided yesterday that I better give it another go. This time, I tried it with her first bottle of the day, thinking maybe she'd be too hungry to refuse. Sure enough, without hesitation, she sucked it all down. Victory! Then, her second bottle of the day...I was 100% anticipating she would now be less hungry and would return to giving me the "Are you a moron" look...Sluuuuuurp. Sucked it right down again! Victory x 2! I have absolutely no idea what made the difference yesterday, but she didn't even blink while drinking every last ounce of milk from those cups. I wasn't brave enough to try it before bedtime but, despite a little hesitation this morning, her first milk of the day once again came in cup format. Looks like the transition may happen after all!
So, that was the first big girl thing. The second thing was that we went out to dinner last night and Kayla used a straw! She has tried numerous times before, but usually just winds up chewing frustratedly on the straw, looking at me like "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?" This time, she chewed, stopped, chewed, stopped, chewed, stopped then sucked! And then sucked some more! And then got all excited and drank the rest of my very yummy carrot juice. Can kids have carrot juice? Let's hope so! But yep, two Big Girl mountains conquered in one day. This kid is growing up way too fast.
In non-Kayla related news, it is spring time. It is spring time and this means that the Easter Bunny has returned to a mall near you. Can I just say, right here, right now, that the Easter Bunny is a scary bizarre freak of nature? I mean, really...A gigantic, walking, talking rodent that steals some poor chickens eggs, paints them funny colors and then hides them in strange and unlikely places? Who came up with this? The Catholic Encyclopedia, of course, says: "The rabbit is a pagan symbol and has always been an emblem of fertility." So, the fertility god rabbit brings pretty painted EGGS to small children? Creepier and creepier. Laugh all you want, but the Easter Bunny seriously freaks me out. I mean, really...
Do I really have to introduce my child to this? Can't we do egg and basket hunts (because those are just way too fun) without having to get into the whole "The Easter Bunny brought it," thing? Can't we just celebrate spring and talk about flowers blooming, chicks being hatched, etc., without discussing some humongous rabbit who somehow managed to get past our security system? I keep seeing Easter bunnies around town and, let's be honest, this is the weirdest tradition in the history of holidays. Well, no, that's not fair. There are some pretty bizarre holiday traditions in every corner of the world...ever been to India? But that is a story for another time. But this bunny...why? I can't help it, I am a little bit glad that Kayla is still too young for Easter and we have time left to figure out how to handle it. Easter Bunny...ugh.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Forgive Me Father
I have a confession...
I have gone into total geeked out Martha Stewart mode for Kayla's first birthday. I can't stop. I have been to Michael's three times, Target four...I had to cut myself off when I almost bought a craft punch because, seriously...who owns a craft punch? Actually, I'm willing to bet money that a few of you do...am I wrong? Craft dorks. But anyhow...so the decorations and supplies are piling up and poor Kayla is being tormented by all the colorful things that she's not allowed to touch. She is eager to help me when I am cutting, gluing or otherwise crafting, but unfortunately, babies and Super Glue just don't mix.
Now, obviously, I can't allow you to see any of the projects-in-the-making because I don't want to spoil the surprise for those of you coming to the party, but let's just say that it is going to be darned cute (if I do say so myself) and you are going to be wowed by my creativity once pictures are finally posted. And, if you're not, well, keep it to yourself because ain't no one gonna rain on this paper butterfly parade. *GASP* I have said too much...
But okay, now I just feel bad for you because I know you are DYING to see the decor. Being the giver that I am, I will give you one SMALL preview, but that is IT. And don't come asking for more. Take this little teaser and then get excited for the photo barrage you will undoubtedly receive in just a couple (ACK!) weeks.
Ready?
How will it be used? Where did it come from? Never you mind for now. But, seriously...is it gonna be a cute party or what?
I have gone into total geeked out Martha Stewart mode for Kayla's first birthday. I can't stop. I have been to Michael's three times, Target four...I had to cut myself off when I almost bought a craft punch because, seriously...who owns a craft punch? Actually, I'm willing to bet money that a few of you do...am I wrong? Craft dorks. But anyhow...so the decorations and supplies are piling up and poor Kayla is being tormented by all the colorful things that she's not allowed to touch. She is eager to help me when I am cutting, gluing or otherwise crafting, but unfortunately, babies and Super Glue just don't mix.
Now, obviously, I can't allow you to see any of the projects-in-the-making because I don't want to spoil the surprise for those of you coming to the party, but let's just say that it is going to be darned cute (if I do say so myself) and you are going to be wowed by my creativity once pictures are finally posted. And, if you're not, well, keep it to yourself because ain't no one gonna rain on this paper butterfly parade. *GASP* I have said too much...
But okay, now I just feel bad for you because I know you are DYING to see the decor. Being the giver that I am, I will give you one SMALL preview, but that is IT. And don't come asking for more. Take this little teaser and then get excited for the photo barrage you will undoubtedly receive in just a couple (ACK!) weeks.
Ready?
How will it be used? Where did it come from? Never you mind for now. But, seriously...is it gonna be a cute party or what?
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Big News
So I know that I am way overdue for a blog post and, therefore, I should be going back about a month and giving you all the details of all that has happened (sleep regression, trips to Utah, new tricks learned and, of course, lots of new adorable anecdotes), but I can't because we have big news. BIG news. And before you get any ideas in your heads, NO, I am NOT pregnant. Sheesh, people (if indeed anyone is still reading this after my 20 day hiatus). The kid isn't even ONE yet! No, the big news is THE DUCKS ARE MOVING BACK TO DC! That's right! After two years here in NYC(ish), I got a call the other day telling me that I had been chosen for a position I applied for/interviewed for last month and so, we now have roughly eight weeks to pack up, ship out, and regroup back in the homeland. It all feels very surreal right now. There are so many logistics to figure out, the biggest, of course, being Chris' job, but we decided before I ever applied to this position that the best thing for us as a family would be to move back to VA and so...here we go. There are definitely things we're going to miss about Hoboken...too many. But, we are also getting excited about being back near so many friends, being back in our house, being back someplace where we can buy a bigger car (YAAAAAAAHHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!). It's going to be a huge transition. HUGE. But, in the end, we really do think it'll be for the best. That said, it is going to be a CRAZY few months and my head is already spinning with everything we have to do.
Kayla, meanwhile, is totally oblivious. Unaware of the turmoil that's starting to build around her, Kayla's sole focus is on practicing her newest and greatest tricks. Starting a couple of weeks ago, Kayla started practicing standing without holding onto anything. It was so funny to watch her go from "Oops, I forgot to hold on and OH MY GOD, I'd better sit down NOW!" to "Okay...letting go...I can do this...one hand...two hands...HAHA Look at me!!!" She's definitely still a little hesitant and only stands unaided for 5-10 seconds at a time, but she is definitely practicing this new skill. She is also figuring out all the benefits of this position. She is learning she can reach most of the breakable objects Mommy thought were out of her reach on the higher shelves. She is learning that she can demand Daddy's attention by popping up and trying to rip that laptop right off his lap. She is learning that she can bend over and pick things up from a standing position - ooh, fancy. She can also now squat. There was a special squat that older men in Singapore used to adopt when they were just hanging out somewhere. Kayla has that squat down.
And yesterday, another new trick. Yesterday Kayla suddenly put two and two together and realized that she can put small objects inside big objects. Ta Da! She spent literally the entire day experimenting with this new trick. The small Tupperware fits in the big Tupperware. The small block fits in the larger cup. The plastic animals fit in the big plastic pitcher. It was a day of revelations. I love watching her learn new things like this. I can't express enough how amazing it has been to be home with her this first year. Yes, there have been challenges. Yes, there have been frustrations. Every time I see her discover something new though, my heart lights up and I could burst with the excitement of knowing that this little baby is rapidly (far too rapidly) developing into a little person. Every new trick makes me beam.
What else is Snuzzles doing...She is learning to point! She now points to things occasionally, just to show them to me and OCCASIONALLY, I can even get her to point out a specified object.
The funniest instance of this though, and, hilariously, the first, was when Kayla and I were walking through Target the other day. We're standing in an aisle and I'm looking at dishes on a shelf when all of a sudden, Kayla starts going "dog, dog, dog, dogdogdogdog." (Note that it doesn't sound EXACTLY that pronounced, but darned if the kid doesn't have a word for those animals.) So, I turn, getting ready to be like "Honey, there aren't dogs here," when all of a sudden I see that her little finger is aimed at a wall and darned if there isn't a big old painting of a panting dog face. DOG! I almost died. She saw it, recognized it, POINTED TO IT, CALLED IT BY NAME...AH!!!!!!! My daughter is a GENIUS! She had both me and the store attendant standing nearby in hysterics (he might have been laughing at my gushing enthusiasm...not sure...). So then, after discussing the dog for 10 minutes, we walk away, down a few more aisles and, all of a sudden, she's doing it again! "Dog, dog, dog, dogdogdogdogdog!" I turn, thinking "Aw, honey, the dog isn't here anymore" and there on the wall is another dog painting! Have I mentioned that my baby is awesome? Best day at Target ever.
Hmm...what else...Kayla now loves to dance. Anytime you turn on music she likes she'll sit there and bop enthusiastically to the beat. She loves exploring and will literally crawl under or through anything. The kid has no fear. Her exersaucer? Won't sit in it anymore, but loves crawling through the shallow space beneath it. Chairs? Bar stools? She performs the most HILARIOUS acrobatics to try to get up and over their bars. Tables? Much better from beneath. I took her to a playgroup the other day and she had herself in hysterics because she managed to crawl into this little tiny play tunnel, turn herself to the side, get herself stuck...and no, I don't mean crying hysterics, I mean LAUGHING hysterics. Right in the middle of quiet story time. Sheesh.
Of course, learning all these new tricks seems to be interfering with her sleep pattern somewhat. She wants to stay up later and later and has been pretty restless at night. We're trying to give her longer wind-down periods before bed, but I honestly think she is just afraid to go to sleep least she miss out on something. Can't imagine where she gets that from.
But, with only three weeks left until Kayla's first birthday, it is hard to get too upset with her about the sleeping. I keep looking at her and thinking how fast time is flying. Every day she is a little more grown up and I realize that, before I know it, she will be less of a Smush and more of a Big Girl. Sigh. It is true that it just keeps getting better and better, but at the same time, it is true that there is nothing like holding this soft little person in your arms, having them look up at you and you see that there has never been a truer love. When I go in to get her in the morning now, she leaps into my arms, locks her little legs onto my side, throws her arms around my neck and just hugs and hugs me. It is The Best Thing in The World, hands down. She also comes over to me when she is sleepy or relaxed and will lay her little head on my leg and wait for me to softly stroke her head. The other night, when she was having a tough time sleeping, I finally gave in and put her in bed with me. A few hours later, she stirred and started to cry, then she felt me beside her, put her hand up on my cheek, heaved a big sigh and passed back out for the rest of the night. How can you be mad about having to sleep with your infant when they do that? This little girl is the most amazing person I have ever met and I am so amazingly thankful for every moment we get to spend with her. It is hard work, it is exhausting, and it is the most marvelous thing on Earth. Happy almost birthday, Kayla. Thank you for making this the best year of our lives. The wonder in your eyes reminds me to keep wonder in my heart.
Kayla, meanwhile, is totally oblivious. Unaware of the turmoil that's starting to build around her, Kayla's sole focus is on practicing her newest and greatest tricks. Starting a couple of weeks ago, Kayla started practicing standing without holding onto anything. It was so funny to watch her go from "Oops, I forgot to hold on and OH MY GOD, I'd better sit down NOW!" to "Okay...letting go...I can do this...one hand...two hands...HAHA Look at me!!!" She's definitely still a little hesitant and only stands unaided for 5-10 seconds at a time, but she is definitely practicing this new skill. She is also figuring out all the benefits of this position. She is learning she can reach most of the breakable objects Mommy thought were out of her reach on the higher shelves. She is learning that she can demand Daddy's attention by popping up and trying to rip that laptop right off his lap. She is learning that she can bend over and pick things up from a standing position - ooh, fancy. She can also now squat. There was a special squat that older men in Singapore used to adopt when they were just hanging out somewhere. Kayla has that squat down.
And yesterday, another new trick. Yesterday Kayla suddenly put two and two together and realized that she can put small objects inside big objects. Ta Da! She spent literally the entire day experimenting with this new trick. The small Tupperware fits in the big Tupperware. The small block fits in the larger cup. The plastic animals fit in the big plastic pitcher. It was a day of revelations. I love watching her learn new things like this. I can't express enough how amazing it has been to be home with her this first year. Yes, there have been challenges. Yes, there have been frustrations. Every time I see her discover something new though, my heart lights up and I could burst with the excitement of knowing that this little baby is rapidly (far too rapidly) developing into a little person. Every new trick makes me beam.
What else is Snuzzles doing...She is learning to point! She now points to things occasionally, just to show them to me and OCCASIONALLY, I can even get her to point out a specified object.
The funniest instance of this though, and, hilariously, the first, was when Kayla and I were walking through Target the other day. We're standing in an aisle and I'm looking at dishes on a shelf when all of a sudden, Kayla starts going "dog, dog, dog, dogdogdogdog." (Note that it doesn't sound EXACTLY that pronounced, but darned if the kid doesn't have a word for those animals.) So, I turn, getting ready to be like "Honey, there aren't dogs here," when all of a sudden I see that her little finger is aimed at a wall and darned if there isn't a big old painting of a panting dog face. DOG! I almost died. She saw it, recognized it, POINTED TO IT, CALLED IT BY NAME...AH!!!!!!! My daughter is a GENIUS! She had both me and the store attendant standing nearby in hysterics (he might have been laughing at my gushing enthusiasm...not sure...). So then, after discussing the dog for 10 minutes, we walk away, down a few more aisles and, all of a sudden, she's doing it again! "Dog, dog, dog, dogdogdogdogdog!" I turn, thinking "Aw, honey, the dog isn't here anymore" and there on the wall is another dog painting! Have I mentioned that my baby is awesome? Best day at Target ever.
Hmm...what else...Kayla now loves to dance. Anytime you turn on music she likes she'll sit there and bop enthusiastically to the beat. She loves exploring and will literally crawl under or through anything. The kid has no fear. Her exersaucer? Won't sit in it anymore, but loves crawling through the shallow space beneath it. Chairs? Bar stools? She performs the most HILARIOUS acrobatics to try to get up and over their bars. Tables? Much better from beneath. I took her to a playgroup the other day and she had herself in hysterics because she managed to crawl into this little tiny play tunnel, turn herself to the side, get herself stuck...and no, I don't mean crying hysterics, I mean LAUGHING hysterics. Right in the middle of quiet story time. Sheesh.
Of course, learning all these new tricks seems to be interfering with her sleep pattern somewhat. She wants to stay up later and later and has been pretty restless at night. We're trying to give her longer wind-down periods before bed, but I honestly think she is just afraid to go to sleep least she miss out on something. Can't imagine where she gets that from.
But, with only three weeks left until Kayla's first birthday, it is hard to get too upset with her about the sleeping. I keep looking at her and thinking how fast time is flying. Every day she is a little more grown up and I realize that, before I know it, she will be less of a Smush and more of a Big Girl. Sigh. It is true that it just keeps getting better and better, but at the same time, it is true that there is nothing like holding this soft little person in your arms, having them look up at you and you see that there has never been a truer love. When I go in to get her in the morning now, she leaps into my arms, locks her little legs onto my side, throws her arms around my neck and just hugs and hugs me. It is The Best Thing in The World, hands down. She also comes over to me when she is sleepy or relaxed and will lay her little head on my leg and wait for me to softly stroke her head. The other night, when she was having a tough time sleeping, I finally gave in and put her in bed with me. A few hours later, she stirred and started to cry, then she felt me beside her, put her hand up on my cheek, heaved a big sigh and passed back out for the rest of the night. How can you be mad about having to sleep with your infant when they do that? This little girl is the most amazing person I have ever met and I am so amazingly thankful for every moment we get to spend with her. It is hard work, it is exhausting, and it is the most marvelous thing on Earth. Happy almost birthday, Kayla. Thank you for making this the best year of our lives. The wonder in your eyes reminds me to keep wonder in my heart.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Five Hours of Molar Cutting, I Mean Flying
Bad colds and job interviews and molars and sleep regression and big life decisions and guests and travel and...
The past few weeks have made my head hurt.
But we are off to Utah today for a week of skiing and though I keep thinking of potential complications (Daycare, Cooking, Kayla in a new place hasn't been real good for Kayla sleeping lately...), we're definitely looking forward to a little time away.
Sorry for the lack of posts recently, but we'll be back in the swing of things when we return!
The past few weeks have made my head hurt.
But we are off to Utah today for a week of skiing and though I keep thinking of potential complications (Daycare, Cooking, Kayla in a new place hasn't been real good for Kayla sleeping lately...), we're definitely looking forward to a little time away.
Sorry for the lack of posts recently, but we'll be back in the swing of things when we return!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Wasted
Truly youth is wasted on the young.
When you are young there are so many things you don't appreciate. You are so eager to rush headlong into adulthood that you never stop to realize how good you've really got it.
"No, Mommy, I don't want to take a two hour nap in the middle of the afternoon!"
"No, Mommy, I don't want to relax in my comfy stroller that is outfitted with a cushy sleeping bag insert to keep me toasty in the cold weather. I want to get down and walk on the hard concrete!"
"No, Mommy, please don't spoon feed me that delicious puree that you spent an hour painstakingly making from only the finest, freshest, organic ingredients. I want to pick up pieces of lint off the floor and shove THOSE into my mouth instead!"
Waste.
Sleep. When we are young, we think sleep is a waste of time. Live while I'm alive, sleep when I'm dead. Waste. Sleep is lovely. It is comforting, refreshing, peaceful and fun. A good eight hours at night...nothing like it. A nice nap in the middle of the day, a gift. But when we're little, we're either convinced we're going to miss something or we're so busy trying to do everything all at once that we can't imagine giving up even 20 minutes in order to shut our eyes and relax. Okay, some of us still have the problem as adults, but let's focus on the kids, shall we? As kids, we don't realize that when we "finally" don't have to take a nap anymore, it will be the end of a delicious era during which we were ENCOURAGED to do NOTHING. This will never come again and later in life when we are rushing from kids to work to kids to spouse to kids to errands to...we will miss those days and wonder why we couldn't appreciate the down time when we had it. We also don't realize when we're young that it is only because we have the ability to recover that we are able to pull all-nighters. Pulling an all-nighter in college makes you feel like a rockstar only because you can sleep in until 3pm the following day. When you are a working adult or, even more significantly, a parent, pulling an all-nighter is no longer awesome; it is a misery. It is a misery because a) much of the time you're not doing so by choice (enter screaming 10 month old) and b) There is no recovery time. Either you are rushing off to work the next morning or you are being woken at 7am (or 6am or 5am...) by a baby who doesn't get the meaning of "sleeping in". This summer, when Kayla was about four months old, I got called "old" for refusing to stay up til 3am playing beer pong. And I get it. Yes, we became parents and yes, that made us less likely to stay up drinking ourselves silly til all hours of the morning. Allow me to explain...Kayla has no concept of sleeping in nor does she understand "Mommy and Daddy are hungover, so you're going to need to quietly entertain yourself for a few hours this morning, okay?" All she understands is that she is still hungry in the middle of the night and she is still wide awake come 0630 and so "HELLO!!!!!! Attend to me." For any parent who has ever done it, tending to an infant while hungover...AGONY, no? Yes.
Laziness. Listen, I know that is easy for me to say this as my baby is ridiculously active and physically is tending to develop ahead of the curve. Were my baby to be behind in hitting her developmental milestones, I might not feel this way. But as this is my blog, I'm going to address how I feel. So, laziness. Listen up babies, this is the only time in your life where laziness will be a valued trait. This will be the only time in your life when someone will breathe a sigh of relief as you allow them to spoon food into your mouth, allow them to carry you for block after block in a big fluffy sling that they are wearing across their chest, allow them to tuck you into your bed for a mid-afternoon nap...Later in life, wanting to be spoon fed will undoubtedly be frowned upon, so, my dears, take advantage now while it lasts! Your parents, cruel as they seem, strapping you into the baby carrier when you could clearly crawl down the sidewalk yourself, would gladly trade places with you for a day. In fact, every time I go into the coffee shop, Kayla all snuggled down in her stroller-o-fluff, the barista says "God, isn't that the life?" And the answer is yes, yes it is. Of course, Kayla doesn't think so. She can't figure out why I won't let her crawl down the road, hands splashing in puddles of car-created muck, tongue lapping out at every stray piece of somethin'...she doesn't get why I insist on holding her or, at the least, snapping her up whenever she spies a discarded pigeon feather and decides that she simply has to know what that tastes like. And she should know that I am far more lenient than most moms I know. My friends gasp when I let Kayla crawl across the playground. "Oh my God, how can you stand it? It's got to be flithy!" Listen...it's either give the kid a chance to explore or stand with her desperately clawing at the air next to us, looking more and more perturbed, getting more and more whiny and getting closer and closer to launching herself out of my arms toward a death-defying five-foot freefall, so...
Plus, I sympathize with her. I get why it is frustrating not to be able to do whatever you want whenever you want. I feel the same way sometimes when I am cooking her third meal of the day and hear people headed to the bars. I want to run to the window, claw at the glass, beg someone to come and save me, but we can't always do what we want to do and so, I get Kayla's need for occasional escape and I choose to honor her desire for independence. After all, she would hardly be my daughter if she didn't think she could do everything herself.
But truly, Kayla, baby, I say this with all of the love, wisdom and understanding a mother can offer, quit rushing forward wanting to be bigger, older, more capable, more independent. You will have plenty of time later in life to be all of those things. What you are right now is so special and so fleeting. You won't remember it. How could you? But oh, if you could, you would look back on these days later in life and think "Wow...that was the best." Because it is. Some day you might not feel that you learn something new every day (I hope that you do). Some day you might not hold everyone around you constantly rapt, waiting to see what amazing thing you might do next (though you'll always hold me). Some day someone is going to tell you to get up and walk, to stop being lazy...some day...but not too soon. I won't let any of those things happen too soon, because you are my baby and I want to keep you that way for as long as I possibly can.
Though I'm willing to move on past the not sleeping through the night and the needing a diaper phases. I think those are a little overrated.
When you are young there are so many things you don't appreciate. You are so eager to rush headlong into adulthood that you never stop to realize how good you've really got it.
"No, Mommy, I don't want to take a two hour nap in the middle of the afternoon!"
"No, Mommy, I don't want to relax in my comfy stroller that is outfitted with a cushy sleeping bag insert to keep me toasty in the cold weather. I want to get down and walk on the hard concrete!"
"No, Mommy, please don't spoon feed me that delicious puree that you spent an hour painstakingly making from only the finest, freshest, organic ingredients. I want to pick up pieces of lint off the floor and shove THOSE into my mouth instead!"
Waste.
Sleep. When we are young, we think sleep is a waste of time. Live while I'm alive, sleep when I'm dead. Waste. Sleep is lovely. It is comforting, refreshing, peaceful and fun. A good eight hours at night...nothing like it. A nice nap in the middle of the day, a gift. But when we're little, we're either convinced we're going to miss something or we're so busy trying to do everything all at once that we can't imagine giving up even 20 minutes in order to shut our eyes and relax. Okay, some of us still have the problem as adults, but let's focus on the kids, shall we? As kids, we don't realize that when we "finally" don't have to take a nap anymore, it will be the end of a delicious era during which we were ENCOURAGED to do NOTHING. This will never come again and later in life when we are rushing from kids to work to kids to spouse to kids to errands to...we will miss those days and wonder why we couldn't appreciate the down time when we had it. We also don't realize when we're young that it is only because we have the ability to recover that we are able to pull all-nighters. Pulling an all-nighter in college makes you feel like a rockstar only because you can sleep in until 3pm the following day. When you are a working adult or, even more significantly, a parent, pulling an all-nighter is no longer awesome; it is a misery. It is a misery because a) much of the time you're not doing so by choice (enter screaming 10 month old) and b) There is no recovery time. Either you are rushing off to work the next morning or you are being woken at 7am (or 6am or 5am...) by a baby who doesn't get the meaning of "sleeping in". This summer, when Kayla was about four months old, I got called "old" for refusing to stay up til 3am playing beer pong. And I get it. Yes, we became parents and yes, that made us less likely to stay up drinking ourselves silly til all hours of the morning. Allow me to explain...Kayla has no concept of sleeping in nor does she understand "Mommy and Daddy are hungover, so you're going to need to quietly entertain yourself for a few hours this morning, okay?" All she understands is that she is still hungry in the middle of the night and she is still wide awake come 0630 and so "HELLO!!!!!! Attend to me." For any parent who has ever done it, tending to an infant while hungover...AGONY, no? Yes.
Laziness. Listen, I know that is easy for me to say this as my baby is ridiculously active and physically is tending to develop ahead of the curve. Were my baby to be behind in hitting her developmental milestones, I might not feel this way. But as this is my blog, I'm going to address how I feel. So, laziness. Listen up babies, this is the only time in your life where laziness will be a valued trait. This will be the only time in your life when someone will breathe a sigh of relief as you allow them to spoon food into your mouth, allow them to carry you for block after block in a big fluffy sling that they are wearing across their chest, allow them to tuck you into your bed for a mid-afternoon nap...Later in life, wanting to be spoon fed will undoubtedly be frowned upon, so, my dears, take advantage now while it lasts! Your parents, cruel as they seem, strapping you into the baby carrier when you could clearly crawl down the sidewalk yourself, would gladly trade places with you for a day. In fact, every time I go into the coffee shop, Kayla all snuggled down in her stroller-o-fluff, the barista says "God, isn't that the life?" And the answer is yes, yes it is. Of course, Kayla doesn't think so. She can't figure out why I won't let her crawl down the road, hands splashing in puddles of car-created muck, tongue lapping out at every stray piece of somethin'...she doesn't get why I insist on holding her or, at the least, snapping her up whenever she spies a discarded pigeon feather and decides that she simply has to know what that tastes like. And she should know that I am far more lenient than most moms I know. My friends gasp when I let Kayla crawl across the playground. "Oh my God, how can you stand it? It's got to be flithy!" Listen...it's either give the kid a chance to explore or stand with her desperately clawing at the air next to us, looking more and more perturbed, getting more and more whiny and getting closer and closer to launching herself out of my arms toward a death-defying five-foot freefall, so...
Plus, I sympathize with her. I get why it is frustrating not to be able to do whatever you want whenever you want. I feel the same way sometimes when I am cooking her third meal of the day and hear people headed to the bars. I want to run to the window, claw at the glass, beg someone to come and save me, but we can't always do what we want to do and so, I get Kayla's need for occasional escape and I choose to honor her desire for independence. After all, she would hardly be my daughter if she didn't think she could do everything herself.
But truly, Kayla, baby, I say this with all of the love, wisdom and understanding a mother can offer, quit rushing forward wanting to be bigger, older, more capable, more independent. You will have plenty of time later in life to be all of those things. What you are right now is so special and so fleeting. You won't remember it. How could you? But oh, if you could, you would look back on these days later in life and think "Wow...that was the best." Because it is. Some day you might not feel that you learn something new every day (I hope that you do). Some day you might not hold everyone around you constantly rapt, waiting to see what amazing thing you might do next (though you'll always hold me). Some day someone is going to tell you to get up and walk, to stop being lazy...some day...but not too soon. I won't let any of those things happen too soon, because you are my baby and I want to keep you that way for as long as I possibly can.
Though I'm willing to move on past the not sleeping through the night and the needing a diaper phases. I think those are a little overrated.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
100.3
Kayla has a fever. Not a big fever. It's only 100.3, but a fever nonetheless. It's her first one and though we've had her be sick before with colds, flu, etc., watching her with the fever is no fun. She had a terrible night last night, was awake from 3-5 and then slept fitfully until 700, but only after I finally gave in and crawled into bed with her. Well, okay, really I brought her into bed with me. Crawling into her crib would have been an experience, one I was tempted to try after having her sleeping self kick my in the ribs for an hour straight, but without looking up weight limits...seemed risky. Anyhow, so she had a rough night and then was simply off all day. She fussed and didn't really want to play...she couldn't seem to find anything that made her happy and we couldn't find anything to soothe her either and so most of the day was spent either taking family naps or cuddling the little one while walking in circles around the house. It must be so frustrating. I know how crappy I feel with a fever - aches, chills, hot flashes...and to be that little, have no idea what's going on, to be unable to tell anyone how you're feeling...poor little baby. And poor mommy and daddy who have gotten very little sleep these last couple nights and who are preparing themselves for another long night tonight. We're not sure if she's coming down with something or if this is more teething. She's pretty much fine other than the fever - no sniffles, no coughing. But then, for all we know, her throat is a fiery mess and she hasn't found a way to let us know. How nice will it be when she learns how to speak? How nice will it be for her and us when she can look up and say "Mommy, my head hurts"? I'm sure there will be plenty of downsides to speech acquisition - "no" for instance - but the pluses will certainly outweigh the minuses. At least until she's thirteen. At that point, we might ask God to take her speech back.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
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