If Lullabies Could Kill

FYI - The Rockabye Baby CDs are a little weak. I'm not sure exactly what I expected, but let's put it this way...if even I can't immediately recognize Bob Marley's "One Love", then you know it ain't good. Additionally, I'm pretty sure that I could have banged out a similar rendition way back when we used to get to experiment with the xylophone in elementary school. That's right - the XYLOPHONE. "One Love" has taken a sad turn for the worse in a rendition that truly involves nothing other than a snooze inducing xylophone tap session. If the next song starts and they are playing "No Woman, No Cry" on the recorder, I might have to chuck the CD out the window and apologize to the reggae gods for having purchased such a sad, making-Bob-roll-over-in-his-grave, excuse for a CD. Why I thought a Lullaby rendition of these songs might be better for baby than the real thing, I can't imagine, but over my dead body will Orange Seed think that this is what Bob Marley and The Beatles are supposed to sound like.

Oh wait...I stand corrected. That is not a xylophone, it is a glockenspiel. Apparently there are also a vibraphone and mellotron in there somewhere. If anyone knows what a mellotron is, by all means enlighten me. Its name conjures up images of a slightly effeminate and exceedingly boring Transformer and its sound isn't a whole lot better.

On a side note, does anyone remember playing the glockenspiel in elementary school?




They used to give you those felt tipped mallets and then tell you to play it as though there was glue on the mallet. "Tap the key and then slowly pull away." I have vivid memories of those sessions. Maybe because I was forced to tap out good songs in an all together inappropriately Tinkerbell sounding manner. That's it! This CD sounds like Bob Marley was kidnapped and rehabilitated into a happy-happy-joy-joy fairy with a tooshie that makes little tinkling bell sounds when he shakes it. Oh Bob, I am so sorry....

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

It is going to be a sad sad day for the Duck mailbox when Orange Seed is born.

I know that sounds weird but, honestly, this mailbox has gotten used to getting daily cards, gifts, deliveries, etc. I think it is going to be a little jealous when the baby arrives and suddenly she is the one getting showered with attention rather than the mailbox. I dread to think what it might do to exact revenge...If we don't pay bills for a few months, it is not our fault. I am sure the mailbox ate them as payback.

According to the latest reports, Orange Seed is weighing in at almost 4lbs these days. She is definitely getting more squished in there as the bigger kicks and punches, though still happening occasionally, have given way to more squirming and rolling. It is hard to believe that we only have 59 days to go. That said, the last week has dragged by at a snail's pace. After feeling like the first 6 months flew by at warp speed, it is hard to settle into this new slowpoke progression. Knowing that we are in the final stretch has definitely made us ever more eager to finally have this little girl out here with us, rather than in my belly, and yearning for her arrival has caused a permanent change in the procession of time. Now time just mocks us as it sits there, occasionally letting a minute tick by, often refusing to budge...We've gone from "Only 9 weeks!" to "A whole 9 WEEKS!" and we're having to use those Lamaze breathing techniques to slow ourselves down and deal with the pain of all this waiting. This must be how you feel as a kid when you are waiting and waiting for Santa to come and your parents keep telling you, "But Johnny, Santa just came 2 weeks ago. He won't be back for another year." AHHHHHHHHH!!! Not that we want Orange Seed to come out too early mind you. We want her to stay in there and bake for as long as she needs to, but still...8 WEEKS...
By 8 weeks from now, I will likely have reorganized all her little belongings approximately 7,543 times. That has become my new way of distracting myself from the fact that she's not here. We've set up the crib, the rocker, the changing table. I even put sheets on the crib the other night, just to prepare. I moved her diapers (yes, she already has diapers) from the closet to the shelf below the changing pad. I hung most of her little clothes on little tiny hangers in the closet (tiny hangers, by the way, are the cutest thing EVER). I set up her Gentle Giraffe near her crib (Thank you, Suzanne and Tim!!!) and I've folded the 6 changing pads (yes, 6) that I've won through Big City Moms into a perfect stack in the closet. I've placed orders for a few things we are still missing and I've started to put together a list of drugstore items that we'll need to pick up before she gets here. If I don't have our hospital bags packed and ready to go 6 weeks prior to her arrival, I'll be amazed. It is just so hard not to have anything left to do but wait. We're finishing up our Childbirth classes, I have a breastfeeding class coming up, we have the two baby showers these next two weekends (yay!!!!!!), but otherwise...tick tock, tick tock. Even having friends in to visit and spending copious amounts of time at the gym are not helping distract from the sludge-o-time. Oh, Orange Seed, you can't possibly know how anxious we are to finally meet you. Thoughts of you occupy our days and nights and mornings and evenings and all other -ings in between. As we keep telling you, definitely don't come out before you are 100% ready and safe to do so; however, if we got to say 38/39 weeks and you WERE ready...we would take you a little early. Just sayin...

Mystery Solved!

So, apparently the reason that I now have to pee every 2 minutes and have sharp pains when I try to do certain stretches during yoga is that not only is Orange Seed now head down, but she is so far down that when the doctor tried to feel her out today her comment was "Ah, okay. She is so far down that I am only feeling neck where I would expect to feel head." Now, initially I wondered if I needed to be worried that this meant she is trying to enter the world before she is allowed, but according to the doc, nope, she has just decided that she is ready to get into her proper position. I guess it's still possible for her to move back up and out before the due date, but for now she is seemingly content to be in pre-launch position.

I am proud of her for already being in the right position. I am hoping this means that she will be born in the same way she has been gestating - smooth and easy.

That said, this does mean that I am in for 9 1/2 more weeks of some pretty impressive pelvic pain and general lower-abdomen heaviness. Suddenly I know why all those later pregnancy women walk so slowly. It's not because they have gotten out of shape, it's because their babies are sitting low and so walking any faster makes baby bounce, which not only doesn't feel great to your poor pubic bone, but also makes you have to pee ever more frequently. Also, it's because their lungs have been mushed up into a very small cavity in their torso with far less room to expand than in previous months. You know how you feel after a humongous meal? One in which you cleaned your plate and then ordered and demolished dessert even though you knew you were beyond full? Well, imagine that feeling 24/7. That's a little like what third-trimester pregnancy feels like. I mean, look at it this way...

In Week 6 of pregnancy, your body still has most of its organs in the appropriate places. That big "empty" spot above the baby, that is where your lungs, stomach, etc., all have their own lovely roomy abodes. Ahh...plenty of room to expand.



Now, in Week 31, we see that the big "empty" spot is...wait...where did it go? That's right, it's gone and with it the comfort of all your organs with the exception of the uterus, which has suddenly become top dog when it comes to occupying space within your body cavity. Now do the shortness of breath and feelings of tightness/heaviness make sense? Compound that new lack of available space with the fact that the baby is now weighing in at more than 3lbs and it only makes sense that things are getting a little weird in the body department.

But that's okay, Orange Seed. We want you to stay put for at least the next 8-10 weeks. Mommy is happy to put up with a little discomfort to ensure that you are full-grown and fully-developed before you come out to join us in this big crazy world.

Nesting

Baby has a bed! And the most impressive part...her mom put it together ALL ON HER OWN! Actually, more impressive than that, the thing looks like it is actually going to hold together and I don't think there is so much as one piece out of place. That's right. I am a furniture building GOD. The crib arrived early last week. The delivery man called and informed me that he would be leaving it by the front door. I tried to play the pregnancy card, letting him know that I am 7 months pregnant and that carrying a 60lb box up four flights of stairs is not exactly in my bag of tricks right now, but he merely said "Well, I'm sure your husband can do it when he gets home." Next time I'm going to be quicker. Next time I'm going to respond by bursting into tears and exclaiming "My...My...I don't have a husband...anymore...that woman..." or maybe "...the crash..." and we'll see if that gets me some furniture delivered to my door. But, this time, I was left to unpack the box in the downstairs lobby, then carry the crib piece by piece up to the apartment. But, it was all worth it as that afternoon those numerous pieces all came together into one adorable (and hopefully safe!) crib.

It still feels a little surreal, but having the crib put together does make me feel at least slightly more prepared. There are only so many things you HAVE to have before the baby is born. A crib/bed is kind of one of them. Now we just need someplace to change the baby; diapers and related necessities; and the basics in terms of medical/hygiene paraphernalia. And the car seat! Gotta get the car seat. I don't want to have to pull a Brittany Spears on the way home from the hospital because we forgot to get that one most important of things. With two showers coming up at the end of the month, we are sure to pick up some more useful things and I keep reminding myself that whatever we don't take away from the showers, we will still have 6 weeks or so to get, so no need to panic yet. It would definitely be nice to feel ready though. I wonder if you ever really do.

Another exciting item arrived to help us get prepared this week. Grandma and Grandpa Spatz were wonderful enough to buy us a beautiful rocking chair and ottoman. It is the most cushy and comfortable chair in the world. We can't wait to spend hours and hours rocking little Orange Seed in that chair. In fact, after spending some quality time rocking in it today, I'm thinking I may be spending some hours sleeping in that chair as well. So comfy...Well worth poor Chris having to drag the 80lb box, which another kind delivery man just dropped in the front lobby, up four flights of stairs to the apartment. Also well worth having our neighbors hate us after said box got left in the lobby all day long, completely blocking anyone from getting in or out of the building without having to utilize some serious pole vaulting skills. Sorry, neighbors!

It is hard to believe that we only have 10 weeks to go now. Less than 10 actually. It is all starting to feel very real as we start going on hospital tours and taking Childbirth classes. Accepting the reality of being pregnant was one thing. Now realizing that in only 10 short weeks we will have an actual baby is something totally different. A couple of weeks ago we went on our hospital tour and though I had been feeling completely calm and prepared, something about being in the hospital, seeing the actual delivery room, and then looking into the nursery at all of those little round faces drove a new sense of reality home. I have gotten so used to the idea that there is a baby inside me, that I think the reality that I would soon have one outside in my arms hadn't really sunk in. Knowing that Orange Seed will be here soon is the most exciting thing in the world and yet, the birth is such an unknown. You can read all of the pregnancy books and check off symptoms you do or don't have as they happen. No matter how many times you read about the delivery process or hear other people's stories, you just can't really visualize or understand it before it happens. Having such a huge unknown at the end of the process is a strange thing to deal with. That said, I'm actually not afraid. There's some anxiety...certainly a sense of unease in all of the anticipation, but I'm not afraid per se. I do believe that this is a natural process. Women were built for this. And I certainly believe everything will be fine, but preparing for delivery and for being parents to an actual, live, 100% dependent baby is something that just feels so intangible. And so, we do what we can to prepare in our own way. We build cribs. We make scrapbooks. We buy diapers and diaper cream and onesies and medical supplies. We take Infant Care Classes. We keep blogs and journals and we talk - we talk to friends, to family, to ourselves, and to Orange Seed. We reassure ourselves that everything we really need to know to be good parents is already inside of us. The rest...well...that's just the learning curve that comes with any new job. And in this case, the most important thing we need to know, that unshakable, unending, unbelievable love between a parent and child, well, that is already present and powerful and with that, all will be fine.