V is for Victory

I think it's official...We're declaring "mama" Kayla's first word. I was initially hesitatnt, not wanting to jump the gun. She's been babbling the "ba"s and the "ga"s and the "da"s for some time now, but she indiscriminately applies them to everything from her bottle to the TV to a passing stranger to her bed. The "ma" however, well, it's focused. That's not to say that she won't occasionally just babble it too, but she definitely uses it to name me. She calls to me from her crib and on Monday, when I was getting ready to leave for DC, as I started to walk out the door, she reached up, pouted, looked me right in the eye and said (in a very heart breaking little voice), "Mama!" She now crawls over to me, tugs on my pants and with a focused expression calls, "Mama". She also tends to repeat it when she wants to be rescued from her crib in the morning, when I disappear around a corner and she's looking for me, when something scares or upsets her and when she is crawling toward me from across the room. Now, as I said, she also occasionally does the "mamamama" when she is clearly not even remotely thinking about me, but as my mom pointed out, babies only have so many sounds they can make, so it doesn't discount her using it in reference to me, just because she also occasionally babbles it at something else too. My mom is the best. At any rate, first word or not, I love that she finally has the "mamamama" down. It is so fun to hear her calling it in the morning as she sits up and stretches in bed. Slightly less fun to hear her whine it when she has woken up at 3am or when she's mad because she doesn't want to have her bib put on or her diaper changed, but hey...never look a gift horse in the mouth, right? (Side note: Weirdest Idiom...)

I Don't Believe in New Year Resolutions

I don't believe in New Year resolutions. I've definitely made them before but the older I get, the wiser I get and the more I realize that making a resolution in the new year is just a sad way to try to make yourself feel better about all the crap you didn't accomplish the year before. That's right, I said it. If you hadn't slacked on your workouts last year, you wouldn't have to resolve to work out more this year. If you hadn't been a mean schmuck last year, you wouldn't have to resolve to "live and let live" this year. Sorry, but I call 'em like I see 'em. So, this year I have resolved not to resolve because yes, last year I made some ridiculous promises I couldn't keep (a zen "let bygones be bygones" promise that ended as soon as the first Jersey driver almost ran me off the road). I have resolved to quit thinking I am so imperfect that I require 50 New Year resolutions just to be an acceptable human being. I will let myself work out a little less, I will let myself go without make-up a little more. I will eat a little more ice cream and I will let myself laugh a little more freely. I am making anti-resolution resolutions (which are really still resolutions which makes this whole resolving to not resolve thing a little confusing), but regardless, this year I just plan to be happy being me.

Along those lines, I am getting back into some of the things I love. The problem with having a baby is that the baby is all consuming. They are adorable and entertaining, demanding and time-consuming, sweet and distracting, tiring and complicated. You have them and they take over so much of your life and yet, a few months on, when you're actually getting some sleep and the baby haze clears, you remember that YOU existed before baby and YOU have wants/needs/goals and that's when YOU reclaim some independence.

For me, that independence is first manifesting itself in the simple form of running. Before Kayla was born, I was becoming an avid runner. In fact, two days before
I found out I was pregnant I ran the farthest I had ever run in my life. As those of you who've read the blog know, I then kept in shape throughout the entire pregnancy, running, walking, lifting weights and swimming. I felt amazing the entire ten months. But now, keeping up with the exercise post-baby has proven a significant challenge. Between the sleep deprivation early on and the baby's non-stop schedule now (bottles, naps, solids, baths, playtime, diaper changes...) it is really hard to find an ideal time to get in a workout. And now that the weather has turned cold, taking Kayla out for a run is almost impossible. I just feel mean running her up and down the snow-crusted roads while her little nose turns red and her eyes tear up. Yes, I know she'll survive, but it just doesn't feel right. I could go to the gym. I definitely could. I am even paying extra each month so that Kayla can hang in the gym daycare center while I workout. But, the problem with the gym is that by the time I get Kayla fed, dressed and ready to go, get myself dressed and ready, get to the gym (either a 20 minute walk or a 10 minute drive) and get K settled in daycare, it is, without exception, about time for another feeding or nap and now our whole day is guaranteed to be thrown off. And so, my workout routine has definitely suffered. As time has gone on though, I've realized that I miss it. I miss it so much. I need to workout each day; it gives me energy, it gives me endorphins...I need it. And so, in order to force myself to get back on the horse, I signed up for my first Half Marathon last week. When I get back on the horse, I get back on the horse. So far, training is going well. Of course, this is week one. I've been getting up early so that I can get in my runs before Chris goes to work and I've been hitting the gym for cross-training either with Kayla or when Chris is around in the evening. I'm already wondering how this will all go once the runs start to get longer though. It is a whole lot easier to steal 30 minutes to run than it is to steal an hour and a half. It's also, frankly, overwhelming to think that in just 12 weeks I should be able to run 13 miles. 13 M-I-L-E-S. That is a long long way. And realizing that I'm going to have to train during travels (DC trips, a ski trip out west...) and potentially so early in the morning that it is still pitch black and a whopping 20 degrees or less outside...oi, but, part of me is also relishing the challenge. Part of me is relishing the fact that I now have a goal for me and only me.

If you're interested in following my mission, I'm starting a running blog: mytwowebbedfeet.blogspot.com

Yes, I know, again with the duck theme, but I already had the avatar of "webbedfeet" on a running message board I'm on, so it just felt right.

Alright, enough about me. This is Kayla's blog, so I promise the next post will be back to being focused on Smush-tastic smiles and crawler-baby antics. Sorry Smush, not trying to steal your thunder, but considering that most of mommy's Christmas presents this year were really for you...you kind of owe me one anyway. :)

MAMAMAMA

It's official, Kayla can now say "mamamamama". It may not necessarily be directed at me and it may be true that thus far she mainly says it during times of extreme frustration, but she is, nonetheless, saying "mama" and that is all that matters to me. I think I actually gave Chris a slug on the shoulder when she did it earlier today. I haven't slugged someone in excitement since...well...maybe never, but today, like one of those movie-portrayed dads who is running around the waiting room handing out blue cigars to strangers, I reached over, slugged my husband and said "Did ya hear that?! Yahoo!"

Baby Gaga

Since I knew Kayla wouldn't be all that into Christmas this year (Sorry, Santa, but I think she just wanted you for your ever so fluffy and ever so chewable beard), I decided to make up for her potential lack of enthusiasm by dressing her in an outfit so festive that she almost looks like Christmas chewed her up, spat her out and went "Look what I made!" Judge all you want, but there are only so many Christmases in your child's life when you can dress them in red and white striped leg warmers, a ribbon-wrapped shirt and the most Seuss-ish Christmas hat ever made without them whining "Maw-aw-aw-awm! So embarrassing!!!" And so, in anticipation of maybe not successfully being able to brainwash Kayla into permanently believing that dressing like an elf is "cool", I went all out this year. Take a look...



Hello Christmas Awesomeness!

The reality is that while the specifics of Christmas might have been lost on Kayla, the spirit wasn't. She was in an awesome mood all day, smiling, laughing, playful...she stayed up for a solid six hours that morning (that's four more than usual) and was an absolute ball of fun. I'm starting to think that I will find myself saying this every month, but this month she is even more hilariously entertaining. She is crawling and standing and playing and is just a total character. She's developing this devilish little personality that leads her to give you sneaky grins when she's doing something that maybe isn't a great idea (mmm...nummy wrapping paper, mmm...nummy DVR, mmm...nummy package of NyQuil tablets that Daddy left on the ground). She's also learning all these fabulous new tricks like clapping her hands, climbing the stairs, giving high-fives, bopping to a musical beat...It seems like every day is something new. Of course, none of those new tricks get demonstrated when I have her on camera in front of her relatives, then she turns about as exciting as a pet rock, but that's okay...(darned babies). She's started babbling non-stop. I think she even outdoes the homeless man on our corner at this point. And she might know more consonant sounds than he does, although he knows a few more choice words. She is now going "bababa", "dadada", "gagaga" and is clearly trying to communicate. You can tell that although she may not have said her first word, she is clearly aware of the fact that making sounds can MEAN something and so sometimes she'll give you this very focused look and will raise an eyebrow and go "dadababababa?" Like, "Hello? Can you hear me? I am TRYING to communicate with you, parental unit. Do these words compute?" She's also getting to be so independent. I put her down on the ground and she just crawls around and plays with her toys, babbling away to them as though she and they have some sort of elaborate game they're engaged in. I almost feel left out.

We made it home from WA Monday night and all is well, although we're now trying to get Kayla over her jet lag so that she will maybe go to bed before 11pm. I will do a full WA/Christmas post soon, but for now, here is just a mini-sneak preview in photo format. I'm off to feed Kayla her homemade dinner of sweet potato/broccoli puree and apple/blueberry puree. Lucky girl. It may be mush, but this shtuff is T.A.S.T.Y.! She honestly eats better than Chris and I do. This point was driven home yesterday when, after feeding her a homemade meal of butternut squash and pear puree, I then scanned the fridge and found that I just barely had the makings for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for myself. I say again...darned babies...

But I digress, the photos...

Monkey Girl

Kayla is a monkey. She is a giggly, playful, roly-poly monkey. Now that she knows how to get around she is on a mission of exploration. She is zooming from place to place, toppling everything within reach and tasting everything from her new doll to her mommy's leather purse. She is also perfecting the art of standing up. She pushes up to standing using lower shelves. She pulls to standing using higher stools. She has even been trying to stand without the aid of any props, but this usually just results in her doing a bizarre handstand that would make most yoga teachers proud. All she wants to do, now that she's figured out that she can, is use anything and everything to climb up to a standing position. She tried using her new drum (thank you, aunt K)...fail. Turns out that the little solo drum is not quite sturdy enough to be used as a crutch. Then she tried her new ball shooting elephant thing (sorry, there is just no better name for it). Fail again. Also rickety, the elephant let her down, refusing to let her climb it like a ladder. She fared better using Mommy and Daddy, pulling and pushing at legs, shoulders, stomachs, heads...whatever it took to get her to a full upright standing posture. She also fares better using the TV stand, but there is the occasional kaboom moment with that one...so hard to know when to step in and when to let her explore and experience on her own. I think we're finding a pretty fabulous balance though.



Kayla's biggest event as of late was her trip to Daddy's office party. She woke up at 730am that morning and was so excited to find not just Mommy, not just Daddy, but Mommy, Daddy AND Aunt K, ALL OF THEM RIGHT THERE AT THE SIDE OF HER CRIB, YAHOOOOO!!!!!! that she couldn't stay asleep long enough to get in a decent first nap. So, when she woke up after only 20mins, I was terrified that the party was going to be a nightmare...that she wouldn't make it through more than thirty minutes before she was tired and cranky and ready to pass out.






I stand corrected.

Not only did Kayla make it through thirty minutes, she made it through two HOURS and thirty minutes and she made it through in rock star style. She smiled and laughed at everyone and everything. She made friends on the ferry, friends in the elevator, friends in line to see Santa...she was hilarious. She just grinned and grinned and grinned. It was so much fun. Plus, the party was just all around impressive. They had free pictures with Santa, the most amazing balloon animal artists (that's right, ARTISTS), free pillow pets for every kid, a free Build-a-Bear workshop, great food, Disney movies playing in the conference rooms...it was adorable. The kids loved it, from the eight year olds down to the eight month olds.


Kayla attempting to out Santa...




Kayla and her Mama




Kayla saying "Wait! Turn me back around! I want to keep an eye on those weird furry things!"




And Kayla thinking that Daddy may have finally lost it...




Kayla is now officially in the Christmas spirit and is ready to get out to Washington to celebrate the Big Day! Until then, she'll keep practicing for Christmas by opening gifts, hanging ornaments, sitting on Santa's lap and participating in any other holiday fun she can.


Kayla's First Christmas Ornament!




Of course, the present unwrapping...well...it's a work in progress...

Continual Growth and Failing Force Fields

A wise Benjamin Franklin once said "Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning." Fine, Ben, fine. Continual growth leads to great things, blah blah blah. I am certain that one day, as I watch Kayla approach a podium, preparing to make her acceptance speech (Nobel Prize...Presidency...), I will agree. That said...currently, continual growth is leading to this: a certain little baby crawling around the room at the speed of light and exposing our apartment for the certain death trap that it is.

Kayla is a crawler. No more army crawl, no more worm-dance across the carpet, she is up on hands and knees, boldly going where no Smush has gone before. And, unfortunately, those destinations tend to be the rickety DVD stands, the multitude of TV related chords, the piece of plastic wrap that somehow managed to slip, fall and wind up under the edge of the couch...the kid has Danger Radar and not in the Spidey Sense - danger is near, seek safety - way, but more in the Evil Knievel - "Did someone say "danger"? YAHOO!!!!" - way. How? Why? I don't know, but she somehow manages to spot the ever-so-dull looking DVR machine from across the room and she zeroes in and *ZOOM*, in the blink of an eye she is on it, trying to pull it, bite it, stick her fingers in it...what is the appeal??

And so, it appears that the time to baby proof is upon us. And let me tell you, this is no easy task. When you think of baby proofing, you think of moving breakable objects off of lower shelves, you think of putting locks on cabinets that house chemicals, you think of plugging outlets and securing bookshelves, and all of these things are good. They're great. And they aren't enough. What you probably haven't thought of is where you are going to put those two tall DVD towers that, no matter what you do, are topple dangers. You probably haven't thought about what you're going to do about the DVD and DVR players that are sitting on the exposed shelves of your TV stand and which have no other place to go. You probably haven't thought about the fact that there are chords in your living room that have to be there (hello, you need light...), but that are baby magnets, no matter how far behind that lamp you try to shove them. And you probably haven't thought about the fact that pretty soon your baby is going to be pulling up and oh God...it's a whole other world of dangers. I've been trying to baby proof, but it is so freaking hard. Thank God for the Exersaucer, which is the only way one can run to the bathroom, run to find a phone or run to answer the door, when baby is awake, without having to worry about baby trying to take her own life into her hands while you're out of sight.

For awhile, we thought we were safe. Yes, Kayla was crawling, but she seemed to be trapped on the rubber play mat we'd set out in the center of the room. She would zoom around the play mat, but when she reached the edge -ERRRRRRRRRK- she would stop, freeze and then retreat. "Perfect," we thought, "invisible force field!" And so we were safe for a time, but tonight, Kayla managed to penetrate the invisible force field, escaping onto the wooden floor and from there...to infinity and beyond! Now her crawling knows no bounds and she is into the dining area, the kitchen, and anyplace she darned well chooses, in the blink of an eye.




Alas...

And so the baby proofing takes a new turn. And really, it needs to take two turns, because now we not only have to consider new rooms, but really, Kayla is looking like she's about to figure out this whole pulling up thing too, so now we have to work on baby proofing from that angle as well. Oi vay.



All that said...I am just stupidly proud of her. Every time she crawls a little farther, a little faster, looks a little more aware, I just swell with pride. I love watching her learn. It is absolutely amazing.

Oh, Snuzzles...you are almost 8 months old and you are just more fun and more exciting every day. Thanks for making mommy and daddy's year.

Speaking of which...a few long overdue photos of Snuzzles past month:

She got to celebrate her Great Grandma's birthday...




She went on her first hike...




It was exhausting!



She had her first Thanksgiving...






Complete with dill pickle (Thanks, Grandpa)...



She got to experience Christmas a la Busch Gardens...





And met Santa!!!!!


She got to have one dinner in the bathtub...(because sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do)



And she was generally a cuddly, snuggle, bundle of yumminess...


Love you, Snuzz.

Darned Technology

Our computers are busted. Well, okay, busted is an overstatement. Our laptop's harddrive is full, so we can't download any photos onto it (or new software for that matter - sorry iTunes). Our desktop's monitor has been removed to the living room where it is currently serving as our TV since our TV's bulb blew AGAIN. Supposedly it hasn't blown in five years, but having had to replace it numerous times in just a couple year period, the hurt feels so much more present than that...Anyhow, so I am woefully unable to upload photos onto the site and that is making it hard for me to feel motivated to write. I have the CUTEST pictures waiting for upload. For Thanksgiving, Kayla had a fabulous "My First Thanksgiving" onesie, complete with turkey and a matching brown tutu. Come on, you knew there'd be a tutu. There will likely be a tutu for every holiday from now through...well...whenever she learns to say "No tutu, Mama" and according to the books, she won't be forming three word sentences for at least another year and a half - wooohooo!!!

Anyhow, I haven't abandonned the blog. Hang in there and I will be with you as soon as I can get our house's computers smacked back into shape.