Oh, Orange Seed...you have no idea how lucky you are. Daddy and I may be far from perfect, but let me tell you...you could have done MUCH worse. For instance, today I had to go to LabCorp for some blood tests. First off, let me thank my OBGYN for sending me out for tests this time, rather than just drawing my blood themselves. There is nothing like sitting in a crowded waiting room for 2 hours (yup, you have to get there 1/2 hour early, then they make you drink heavy duty Gatorade and then you wait an hour to actually have your blood drawn - F, U, N, spells FUN!) surrounded by people who are variously hacking, snorting, spitting into the trash can (I kid you not), etc. Once again, thinking I reeeeally should have figured out how to get the Swine Flu vaccine before now. At any rate, as Orange Seed and I are sitting there waiting for our turn to get pricked, the waiting room is slowly emptying out and soon we are left with just one couple and their two kids. Let's start with the positive: cute kids, mom kisses them often, dad smiles at them...okay, I'm out. Now let's talk about the negative. The parents proceeded to fight LOUDLY for about 25 mins straight. It all started because they were sitting near the window and the mom glanced out at the same time that some man was walking by.
Dad: "What are you looking at?"
Mom: "What? What are you talking about?"
Dad: "You looked at him like 'mmmm', when I'm sitting right here. You think I don't see you? You're nasty, seriously."
Mom: "Please. I wasn't looking at him, you're crazy."
Dad: "What were you looking at then, huh?"
Mom: "None of your f*&$*ing business."
Dad: "Oh, now you're cursing. You do that in a place of public? That's nice. You need to learn how to act proper. Cursing like that in public. Nasty."
Mom: "You are so rude. Disrespectful. It isn't worth it."
Dad: "Oh please, you know where you'd be without me."
Mom: "Mmmhmm, I do. I certainly do." (This definitely in a tone of it would be someplace gooood).
Dad: "You're such a nasty person. Hood rat."
Mom: "Whatever. You think you're so great, but you aren't. You're just sad, sad, sad."
and on and on and on and on
Again, their two kids, who couldn't have been more than 2 and 4, are sitting right there. I am also sitting right there, feeling exceedingly awkward and focusing on my iPhone like it is telling me the secrets of the universe. The fighting went on and on and got louder and louder until FINALLY they were called back for their appointment. Unbelievable. So, see Orange Seed? It could be way worse. Your daddy, no matter how mad he has ever been at me, has never called me a "hood rat". Nor have I loudly thrown out the...um...choice words that Waiting Room Mommy was using to berate your dad in public. Who are these people and do their kids grow up thinking this is normal? I'm sure they do. And while I'm sure there are plenty of things we will do in front of you that we will later regret or that will reveal to you that we are, in fact, imperfect, there are some things that I can promise you will never have to deal with. I'm just glad that you were in utero for this one, kiddo. I'm not sure what I would have done if you had been there and able to understand those people. This is similar to a Washington, DC Zoo episode that your dad and I experienced once. I can't even relate that story here, but let's just say that it involved one man LOUDLY and VIVIDLY describing the poor elephant's bowel movement and then debating all of its pluses and minuses in terms worse than I could ever have fathomed might come out of someone's mouth in the middle of a crowd of anyone, let alone a bunch of little kids. See, you cringed just now, didn't you? And you weren't even there to hear it! Trust me, whatever you are imagining...it was worse! I don't consider myself much of a prude in terms of language use, etc.; however, there is a line when kids are around and apparently, someone needs to walk around whacking people with that line, to get it through their thick skulls. Where's the Sensitivity Bat when you need it?
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