Nesting

Baby has a bed! And the most impressive part...her mom put it together ALL ON HER OWN! Actually, more impressive than that, the thing looks like it is actually going to hold together and I don't think there is so much as one piece out of place. That's right. I am a furniture building GOD. The crib arrived early last week. The delivery man called and informed me that he would be leaving it by the front door. I tried to play the pregnancy card, letting him know that I am 7 months pregnant and that carrying a 60lb box up four flights of stairs is not exactly in my bag of tricks right now, but he merely said "Well, I'm sure your husband can do it when he gets home." Next time I'm going to be quicker. Next time I'm going to respond by bursting into tears and exclaiming "My...My...I don't have a husband...anymore...that woman..." or maybe "...the crash..." and we'll see if that gets me some furniture delivered to my door. But, this time, I was left to unpack the box in the downstairs lobby, then carry the crib piece by piece up to the apartment. But, it was all worth it as that afternoon those numerous pieces all came together into one adorable (and hopefully safe!) crib.

It still feels a little surreal, but having the crib put together does make me feel at least slightly more prepared. There are only so many things you HAVE to have before the baby is born. A crib/bed is kind of one of them. Now we just need someplace to change the baby; diapers and related necessities; and the basics in terms of medical/hygiene paraphernalia. And the car seat! Gotta get the car seat. I don't want to have to pull a Brittany Spears on the way home from the hospital because we forgot to get that one most important of things. With two showers coming up at the end of the month, we are sure to pick up some more useful things and I keep reminding myself that whatever we don't take away from the showers, we will still have 6 weeks or so to get, so no need to panic yet. It would definitely be nice to feel ready though. I wonder if you ever really do.

Another exciting item arrived to help us get prepared this week. Grandma and Grandpa Spatz were wonderful enough to buy us a beautiful rocking chair and ottoman. It is the most cushy and comfortable chair in the world. We can't wait to spend hours and hours rocking little Orange Seed in that chair. In fact, after spending some quality time rocking in it today, I'm thinking I may be spending some hours sleeping in that chair as well. So comfy...Well worth poor Chris having to drag the 80lb box, which another kind delivery man just dropped in the front lobby, up four flights of stairs to the apartment. Also well worth having our neighbors hate us after said box got left in the lobby all day long, completely blocking anyone from getting in or out of the building without having to utilize some serious pole vaulting skills. Sorry, neighbors!

It is hard to believe that we only have 10 weeks to go now. Less than 10 actually. It is all starting to feel very real as we start going on hospital tours and taking Childbirth classes. Accepting the reality of being pregnant was one thing. Now realizing that in only 10 short weeks we will have an actual baby is something totally different. A couple of weeks ago we went on our hospital tour and though I had been feeling completely calm and prepared, something about being in the hospital, seeing the actual delivery room, and then looking into the nursery at all of those little round faces drove a new sense of reality home. I have gotten so used to the idea that there is a baby inside me, that I think the reality that I would soon have one outside in my arms hadn't really sunk in. Knowing that Orange Seed will be here soon is the most exciting thing in the world and yet, the birth is such an unknown. You can read all of the pregnancy books and check off symptoms you do or don't have as they happen. No matter how many times you read about the delivery process or hear other people's stories, you just can't really visualize or understand it before it happens. Having such a huge unknown at the end of the process is a strange thing to deal with. That said, I'm actually not afraid. There's some anxiety...certainly a sense of unease in all of the anticipation, but I'm not afraid per se. I do believe that this is a natural process. Women were built for this. And I certainly believe everything will be fine, but preparing for delivery and for being parents to an actual, live, 100% dependent baby is something that just feels so intangible. And so, we do what we can to prepare in our own way. We build cribs. We make scrapbooks. We buy diapers and diaper cream and onesies and medical supplies. We take Infant Care Classes. We keep blogs and journals and we talk - we talk to friends, to family, to ourselves, and to Orange Seed. We reassure ourselves that everything we really need to know to be good parents is already inside of us. The rest...well...that's just the learning curve that comes with any new job. And in this case, the most important thing we need to know, that unshakable, unending, unbelievable love between a parent and child, well, that is already present and powerful and with that, all will be fine.