Is This Your First Time?

There are so many times as a parent that you do something and then think "Now, if that's not love, then I don't know what is." Let me put that more honestly. There are so many times as a parent that you do something disgusting and think "Now, if that's not love, then I don't know what is." You think that the first time your baby goes to spit-up/throw-up and instead of thrusting them away from you, you pull them closer, more focused on comforting them than on avoiding the nasty downpour. You think that the first time you get drool in your eye after playing an ill timed game of "SuperBaby". You think that as you first take your baby's temperature rectally, as you first get accidentally doused in pee, as you first bend down to wipe projectile pooh up off the floor...Tonight though, Chris and I discovered a whole new level of love. Tonight, we discovered...The Nose Frida.



Oh, Nose Frida...I had heard tales of you around the Moms Group campfire. You were to be the aspirator to end all aspirators. Moms talk about you in hushed tones, evoking your name as they would the name of a supreme being. Only one pharmacy in all of Hoboken carries you and they are constantly having to restock their supply as word of your wonder has spread throughout the mom community. And yet, somehow, in all that hype, I never once saw the most important note about you. Oh yes, I saw that you were fondly referred to as "The Snot Sucker", but I just never fathomed...

I mean, I saw the picture:



But my mind, refusing to believe what it saw, just turned that little tube sticking out of the woman's mouth into a stethoscope. I mean CLEARLY that woman is a doctor and that is her...wait...

When I walked up to the counter in the drugstore, Nose Frida clasped to my chest, excited to make my purchase and return home to save my daughter from the evil Phlegm Monster who is plaguing her, the Pharmacist looked up at me, smiled and said "Is this your first time sucking snot?" "Ha Ha," I laughed, thinking that he was referring to the same sucking motion that happens when one uses a bulb syringe. But then he began to explain and as he continued his explanation, my eyes grew wider and wider.

For those of you who haven't caught on yet, the way you use the Nose Frida is that you - YOU - suck the snot out of the baby's nose and no, I do not mean by squeezing a bulb. I mean by putting the end of a long tube in your mouth, inserting the opposite end of said tube into your baby's nose and then sucking. YOU SUCK THE SNOT OUT OF THE BABY'S NOSE - LITERALLY. Is anyone not horrified by this?? I mean, okay, when you get down to it, there is a very effective filter between your lips and the incoming snot, but still...EWWWWWW-WYYYYYY.

And I don't mean to pull all of the sympathy toward me. Poor, poor traumatized Kayla did not exactly love the Nose Frida experience either. And of course, for her, this came on top of having been waterboarded (i.e. turned practically upside down while we dumped saline drops into her nostril) and steam fried (i.e. forced to hang out in a steamed up bathroom for 10 minutes as the sweat began to pour down both her and her mama's faces, in an attempt to loosen up any mucous in her system).

But enough about her...

Tonight, for the umpteenth and perhaps most poignant time, Chris and I performed our parental duties (after a vicious match of Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine whose mouth was going to do the dirty work), then turned to one another and said "If this isn't love..." Even for a "seasoned" mom, who now doesn't think twice about diving in to clean up super stinky pooh and who barely bats an eye as drool drips down her shirt and skin, the Nose Frida...well, the Nose Frida was a whole new kind of love and Snuzzles...I just hope someday you appreciate what true love is.

Ariel Mermaid Duck

The past few weeks have been filled with "firsts" for Kayla. The first first, she met her first Europeans, Aunt Lucy, Uncle Franco and Cousin Devin.





This brave family flew from across the world, Lucy 7 months pregnant!, to meet little Kayla and show her some love. In honor of that feat, Kayla decided she had better perform a feat of her own and so...she rolled over!!! That's right, Kayla has mastered the art of rolling over and, not one to be satisfied with being average, she decided to master the more difficult task of rolling from her back to her front first. And she is SO proud of herself. She now starts to throw herself into a roll before you even get her down on the ground, arching her back and throwing her legs over, ready to show that she is, in fact, a marvel and a wonder.



I am not going to lie. I am mind-explodingly proud of this new skill. And I am also irrationally proud of the fact that she started off going in the most difficult direction. Being an overachiever, I admire her drive and desire to be exceptional. Oh okay, I'm just retardedly impressed by EVERYTHING she does, difficult or not. This is why I have 5,000 pictures of her doing nothing but reaching for a stuffed monkey. I am her mother. It is my job.

Other firsts: Kayla spent the last two weeks with her Svoboda relatives in Stone Harbor, NJ. This was Kayla's first time at the beach and though it's hard for a 4 month old to appreciate the fun of the beach, she did appreciate some of the bonuses to being near it. 1. She loved being surrounded by relatives who wanted nothing more than to spoil her rotten. I don't think she spent more than 5 minutes entertaining herself all last week and I certainly didn't hear any complaints from her about the constant love and attention. 2. With the help of her Grandpa, she discovered The Baby in the Mirror. Like most things baby, her interest in the Baby sprang up over night. One day she couldn't have cared less and the next she was smiling and giggling and 100% in love with the Mirror Baby (i.e. herself). 3. While Kayla isn't really old enough to go in the ocean (waves...jellyfish...seaweed...sun...), she is old enough to go in the pool and go in she did. I didn't even attempt to take her in the first week, assuming that the chilly temperature of the pool would make swimming a non-starter, but desperate for a new activity in the second week, I took her in and VOILA! Ariel Mermaid Duck! She LOVES the pool. LOVES. Even with her little teeth (okay, gums) chattering, she giggled and squawked and kicked and paddled her way through that pool, like a crazy little fish baby. 4. Keeping with the water theme, Kayla also took her first outdoor shower at the beach and apparently, that too, is an AMAZING find. She loves the shower. Like will let you hold her head under the spout as water pours down her face, before coming out a-sputtering and a-giggling, loves the shower. She is hilarious. I have never seen a baby get dunked under water and just laugh her way out of it as though it is a fabulously entertaining game. The kid is a water fiend. A true Water Baby a la Kingsley. That's right. English major whaaaaaat.

Photo Proof:

Pool Time




Shower Time (Typically taken with the theme song "Singing in the Rain" graciously performed by Mama)

Time to call Child Protective Services?

Apparently not!


What else...Kayla loves long walks on the beach at sunset, she loves bright green leaves against a bright blue sky, she loves listening to Uncle John make gasping noises, she loves Cousin Julie the baby whisperer, she loves Uncle Erik taking her for a Waltz and she loves...well, she loves snuzzling with mama at about 6am before the rest of the world wakes up. She may not have loved the beach - too hot, too sunny, too limited in terms of room to roll around...but she did have her own personal kingdom built there each and every day. Some day she will look back on that and be sorry she wasn't more impressed. At least she better. It took an army of at least four relatives to cart her "kingdom" down there each day!

Kayla's Castle

Perfect for the Princess' Naptime

Kayla's Private Lagoon

Slaves (read relatives) carried water in buckets across burning hot sand to fill the Lady's pool each day.

And just to up the adorable quotient...





Actually, there is just too much cuteness for one post. I'll have to head the next few posts with beach pics, because I don't want your heart to explode into fountains of puppies and fluffy bunny rabbits if I overload you now.

I can't get over the fact that Kayla will be four months old this Sunday. In some ways time has flown and in others, the last few months have felt like the movie Groundhog Day. I am realizing more and more that parenthood must be taken day by day. Trying to look at it in any longer reaching terms is far too overwhelming at this stage and maybe always will be. For now, I am just trying to hang onto Snuzzles and her wonder-baby ways. My mom used to sing me a lullaby that went "Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow, for babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep." Those words now mean so much more to me as I watch Kayla get bigger and bigger every day. They also mean more to me now that I have become a serious cleaning-cooking-housekeeping slacker...but that's another story.

Hostess with the Mostest

This week, Kayla and I hosted the Moms and Babies Group for the first time. What this meant was that we not only had to clean the house, but we had to prepare food. Holy return to reality! Cooking has occurred all too rarely around here since Kayla was born. I feel a little bad about that, but you try putting together anything more than a sandwich when your infant is awake. Babies do not have a ton of patience when it comes to meal preparation. If you've ever seen one wake up hungry, you know this to be true. Regardless, I felt a little guilty only serving store bought stuff Wednesday afternoon, so in an attempt to relearn the kitchen, I did in fact manage to prepare guacamole from scratch. This involves chopping and mashing and seasoning, people...be impressed. I also cut up some strawberries. Ooooh. And I poured ice water into a pitcher and put pretzels into a bowl. Aaaaah. It was quite the production.

Actually, far more than the snack preparations, figuring out how to fit 12 women and their babies into the apartment was the real trick.



Those of you who have lived in houses for awhile now have no idea how funny it is to move back into an apartment. When I think that we used to throw parties for 50+ people, I am amazed. Here, we had to move furniture out of the living room just to make room for 12! That said, there is nothing more adorable than having your apartment floor literally covered in babies and these particular babies...well, they are some of the cutest, smiliest kids you have ever seen. Well, all except for Kayla. Kayla is apparently a little overwhelmed by big loud groups of people and she tends to either go to sleep or get fussy. Part of me can't blame her - 12 women and 12 3-6 month olds in one room really is quite the scene. Another part of me really wants her to buck up and quit being so anti-social. Come on, Kayla...you're freaking adorable. Show it off just a little, would ya?

You Know You're Old When...

When I was 20, I thought that 30 was old. Now that I'm 30, I know that my 20-year old self was right. 30 IS old. 30 is really old. It might not be so old, except that being 30, for me, has meant becoming a parent and there is something inherently old in that, even when you're young. Chris and I had our oldness pounded over our heads the other night when we went out for Date Night. I think just having to plan a Date Night automatically throws you into the old fart category, but having to plan ahead, book a babysitter, get home at a reasonable time...it really drove the point home in a knife to the gut kind of way. Also, we both got dressed up for Date Night. That's right, I took a decent amount of time getting ready because the reality is that there just aren't that many nights lately when I have a good excuse to get really dolled up. The fact that I was actually going out to an adults only dinner and might, GASP, even get to drink a couple glasses of wine and eat a full three course LEISURELY meal...time to break out the fancy.

Our big Date Night plans - dinner and a movie. That's right...we finally got a night out of the house and we went to the movies. You see, the movies used to be a boring Friday night. The movies used to be what we did when we didn't have plans. Now, going to the movies is a serious luxury and I, honest to God, was SO EXCITED to get into that theater Friday night. I have watched a summer of blockbusters pass me by and getting to finally go see a feature film...woooooohoooooo. We saw Inception, which was pretty fabulous, but I would recommend seeing it earlier in the day. Seeing it just a couple of hours before bedtime is a guaranteed way to have some seriously confused dreams. Anyhow, so yes, we got to go to the movies and yes, I got to eat a three course meal and yes, we are old beyond our years, but ah well...tis the Circle of Life, no?

So There I Was...and Other Tales of Accidental Births

One of the terrifying things about working from home is that you learn all about daytime television. Today, I learned that there is a show called "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". On today's episode, a 21-year old woman gave birth to a baby in her toilet. She sat down, feeling extremely constipated and pushed and pushed until *oops!* a baby popped out. She didn't realize it was a baby and not a BM until she tried to stand up and found that she was attached, via umbilical cord, to a baby in the bowl. No, I am not making this up. Now listen...I understand that there are a lot of stupid people out there, truly I do. It is damned near impossible to believe that you could go through nine months of pregnancy without realizing that something's up, but I've heard of it happening before and I can even believe that some people are so ignorant and out of tune with their bodies, that this does happen to them. Okay, no, I can't really believe that, I mean seriously...what funky stuff is wrong with your body that having a mini-human kicking around in there doesn't feel strange to you? What kind of crazy extra weight must you be carrying to not notice that you've suddenly gained an 8-lb person? But, because they kind of skipped over that whole bit in the tv episode I was watching, let's just focus on the final act. You are trying to tell me that you went into labor and just thought you were constipated? You are telling me that contractions felt like gas pains to you? Or that pushing out a BABY felt like taking a pooh? (Wow have I had a lot of pooh posts lately...)
Seriously...if you have been going through life such that your bowel movements feel like full on labor and birth, you should have seen a doctor a long LONG time ago. What have you been doing to yourself? And what the HECK have you been eating?

Is it wrong of me to think that if you can go through 9 months of pregnancy without realizing you're carrying a baby that maybe you aren't qualified to be a parent? There are a lot of subtleties involved in parenting and I'm thinking that if you can't manage to figure out you're giving birth, then figuring out when your child is hungry, tired, or ill is probably going to be a bit beyond you. Am I wrong?

Baby Einstein to the Rescue

Dude...

Okay, I know that TV is bad for kids, rots their brains, makes them fat, etc., etc. That sad, today I introduced my baby to Baby Einstein and by God...she LOVES it. LOVES it. I can't believe it. We are on the 7th minute and she is just sitting there...staring and occassionally flapping her arms and feet. There is some fabulous chimey music, a lot of bright moving shapes and she is totally intrigued. I brought it out thinking, "Yeah, right. The kid is totally going to want to watch TV. She can't even locate her feet yet - how is a DVD going to grab her attention." But it has! I figure it's like the mobile on crack! There are lights and music and bright moving objects and it doesn't matter that she hasn't the faintest clue what "water" is or what those little floating animals with the fins and gills are - they are 100% entertainment, that's what they are.

I almost don't know what to do...Do I let it keep going until she's sick of it or do I cut it off before it gets old? I don't want to ruin the magic that is this newfound distraction. Now, for those of you who are worried about brain rotting, first off, let me just say that the video is totally teaching her things. It is showing her pictures of the ocean and saying "ocean". Then it shows her other kinds of "water" and explains "water". In fact, in some ways it is far more educational than me sitting above her making googly eyes and blowing raspberries, trying to get her to smile. Not that I don't educate her, mind you. Earlier today we took a walk and I totally pulled down a tree branch so she could see it and touch it. Yeah, awesome mom! But, come on...even the most energetic mom needs a break now and then.

Okay, for real, the kid is cooing like crazy at the TV...LOVES it. This is so exciting...this means momma may have found a part-time nanny who is not only legal, but who speaks fluent English and for whom mommy has already paid the appropriate taxes, no questions asked. If I can get Baby Neptune to babysit Kayla for just a few short periods every day, maybe I can put off daycare a little longer. Did I talk about my daycare experience? I can't remember. The short story is that I went to look at a daycare center the other day and about cried looking through the window at the "cocoon room". It's pathetic...the older kids looked perfectly happy. The staff seemed really nice. The place was clean and full of fabulous toys, etc., but the babies...there they were lying about, 10 of them and only 4 "teachers". One was sobbing his eyes out and though the teacher was holding him, it still just broke my heart. Another one was lying on the floor, a bottle propped in his mouth with a towel...They were all fine, really they were, but I just couldn't stand it. The thought of dropping Kayla off there and her not getting all the love and cuddles that she gets at home was depressing. Not what I expected. I expected to feel sad the first time I dropped her off, but the first time I went to look? Oi. It's such a tough decision. On the one hand, I am dying for a couple days a week where I can just be by myself - not only have time for work, but also for getting in a long run, some shopping, a trip to the gym...the things I have to give up now when I am working my full-time job plus taking care of her. There are only so many hours in a day and between her and my paying job, there's no time for extra activities. And so, yes, the idea of having some free days all to myself is super appealing. That said, the idea of sending her off somewhere where she may be unintentionally minorly neglected...ugh. Heart-wrenching. I don't know if I can do it. I think that's why the search for daycare has been taking so long. Well, that and the fact that it took me awhile to realize that a nanny wasn't going to be as easy a proposition as I had thought.

What to do...what to do...

What I really want is for Kayla to sleep til 10am, get up for a couple hours, then go back down for a 3 hour nap, then take a shorter nap in the evening, before going down for the night around 9pm. Is that so much to ask for? Okay, yes, it is. I don't really want a constantly drowsy child, but man...it would make organizing my day a whole lot easier.

A well...for now, we'll see how Baby Einstein does and then...well, then we'll revamp again.

Randomness Alone

Before we get into the meat of things, just a few more pictures from the weekend.






and now...a few random observations/contemplations.

1) You know you live in a kid-heavy town when you walk into Starbucks and the two burly men sitting by the door are talking about how "pumping can increase your milk supply".

2) I oh so miss having a house of my own. I didn't think I was madly in love with my house while we were living in it, but now that I am back in a rental, I am realizing how much I could have/should have done with our place when I had the chance. When/If we move back in, I will be ready for some remodeling and redecorating.

3) If you are going to speak loudly on your cell phone while sitting outside in the midst of a bunch of tables, you should at least refrain from commenting on other people's baby names. Obnoxiously loud lady to my left just informed her friend that she can't believe anyone would choose the name Kayla...mmhmm.

4) My child has the bizarre habit of being perfectly adorable and sweet all day, but then I take her to a public event - yoga, playgroup, etc. - and suddenly she is grouchy and miserable. I don't want to judge her, but truly...why the unhappy public persona?

5) Knowing that the grass is always greener doesn't help to brighten your own grass when you're in the midst of a grass envy moment.

6) The harmonica is a hugely underrated instrument. There is a man who lives in an upper floor apartment on Washington Street and plays his harmonica near the open window across from a cafe. I love listening to him.

7) If I lived above harmonica man, I would probably like him a whole lot less.

7) My husband is 1,000 times more amazing as a dad than I ever knew he could be and I was pretty darned convinced he'd be impressive.

8) A few minutes of alone time each day can make a world of difference in how I feel about being a stay at home mom. I am realizing that sending Kayla off to daycare will break my heart, but am also realizing that I need just a little time each afternoon to get out, breathe and recoup.

9) A baby's pout is perhaps the most heartbreaking sight in the world.

10) If you could bottle baby scent, you would be a millionaire. It is so sad to think that Kayla won't always smell the way she does now. That snuzzleable, edible, yummy-beyond-description smell is the best.

10 is a round number and seems a good place to stop. Some postings are more enlightened than others and this one basic at best. Mea culpa, readers. Mea culpa.