Ariel Mermaid Duck

The past few weeks have been filled with "firsts" for Kayla. The first first, she met her first Europeans, Aunt Lucy, Uncle Franco and Cousin Devin.





This brave family flew from across the world, Lucy 7 months pregnant!, to meet little Kayla and show her some love. In honor of that feat, Kayla decided she had better perform a feat of her own and so...she rolled over!!! That's right, Kayla has mastered the art of rolling over and, not one to be satisfied with being average, she decided to master the more difficult task of rolling from her back to her front first. And she is SO proud of herself. She now starts to throw herself into a roll before you even get her down on the ground, arching her back and throwing her legs over, ready to show that she is, in fact, a marvel and a wonder.



I am not going to lie. I am mind-explodingly proud of this new skill. And I am also irrationally proud of the fact that she started off going in the most difficult direction. Being an overachiever, I admire her drive and desire to be exceptional. Oh okay, I'm just retardedly impressed by EVERYTHING she does, difficult or not. This is why I have 5,000 pictures of her doing nothing but reaching for a stuffed monkey. I am her mother. It is my job.

Other firsts: Kayla spent the last two weeks with her Svoboda relatives in Stone Harbor, NJ. This was Kayla's first time at the beach and though it's hard for a 4 month old to appreciate the fun of the beach, she did appreciate some of the bonuses to being near it. 1. She loved being surrounded by relatives who wanted nothing more than to spoil her rotten. I don't think she spent more than 5 minutes entertaining herself all last week and I certainly didn't hear any complaints from her about the constant love and attention. 2. With the help of her Grandpa, she discovered The Baby in the Mirror. Like most things baby, her interest in the Baby sprang up over night. One day she couldn't have cared less and the next she was smiling and giggling and 100% in love with the Mirror Baby (i.e. herself). 3. While Kayla isn't really old enough to go in the ocean (waves...jellyfish...seaweed...sun...), she is old enough to go in the pool and go in she did. I didn't even attempt to take her in the first week, assuming that the chilly temperature of the pool would make swimming a non-starter, but desperate for a new activity in the second week, I took her in and VOILA! Ariel Mermaid Duck! She LOVES the pool. LOVES. Even with her little teeth (okay, gums) chattering, she giggled and squawked and kicked and paddled her way through that pool, like a crazy little fish baby. 4. Keeping with the water theme, Kayla also took her first outdoor shower at the beach and apparently, that too, is an AMAZING find. She loves the shower. Like will let you hold her head under the spout as water pours down her face, before coming out a-sputtering and a-giggling, loves the shower. She is hilarious. I have never seen a baby get dunked under water and just laugh her way out of it as though it is a fabulously entertaining game. The kid is a water fiend. A true Water Baby a la Kingsley. That's right. English major whaaaaaat.

Photo Proof:

Pool Time




Shower Time (Typically taken with the theme song "Singing in the Rain" graciously performed by Mama)

Time to call Child Protective Services?

Apparently not!


What else...Kayla loves long walks on the beach at sunset, she loves bright green leaves against a bright blue sky, she loves listening to Uncle John make gasping noises, she loves Cousin Julie the baby whisperer, she loves Uncle Erik taking her for a Waltz and she loves...well, she loves snuzzling with mama at about 6am before the rest of the world wakes up. She may not have loved the beach - too hot, too sunny, too limited in terms of room to roll around...but she did have her own personal kingdom built there each and every day. Some day she will look back on that and be sorry she wasn't more impressed. At least she better. It took an army of at least four relatives to cart her "kingdom" down there each day!

Kayla's Castle

Perfect for the Princess' Naptime

Kayla's Private Lagoon

Slaves (read relatives) carried water in buckets across burning hot sand to fill the Lady's pool each day.

And just to up the adorable quotient...





Actually, there is just too much cuteness for one post. I'll have to head the next few posts with beach pics, because I don't want your heart to explode into fountains of puppies and fluffy bunny rabbits if I overload you now.

I can't get over the fact that Kayla will be four months old this Sunday. In some ways time has flown and in others, the last few months have felt like the movie Groundhog Day. I am realizing more and more that parenthood must be taken day by day. Trying to look at it in any longer reaching terms is far too overwhelming at this stage and maybe always will be. For now, I am just trying to hang onto Snuzzles and her wonder-baby ways. My mom used to sing me a lullaby that went "Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow, for babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep." Those words now mean so much more to me as I watch Kayla get bigger and bigger every day. They also mean more to me now that I have become a serious cleaning-cooking-housekeeping slacker...but that's another story.

Small Break for a Big Event

For those of you who were wondering, the answer is yes, yes the blog will continue now that Kayla Cameron (Ah! A name!) has been born. As you might guess, these past few days have been...busy. While there have been a million things to write about, I haven't really found the time to sit down and work on the blog. It's been hard enough trying to keep Kayla's journal (I've been keeping a written journal for her throughout the pregnancy as well), let alone to update this. As you can imagine, most of my free moments have been spent either visiting with family or trying to catch up on the hours of lost sleep which have been accumulating at a pretty rapid pace. I have to admit that I am definitely running a losing race when it comes to catching up on z's, but then, do any new parents not come in dead last in that event?

I know most of you have been able to keep up with us somewhat via Chris' email updates and our photo updates on Facebook. It has been an amazing six days (In one hour my baby will be 6 days old!! I can't believe it!!) and we are beyond ecstatic to be home safe and sound with our new baby girl. For those of you who don't know the birth story, last Wednesday night, April 14th, we made not one, but two trips to the hospital. That entire day I had been feeling...funny. I had a lot of cramping and some...emanations (to avoid too much discussion of bodily functions - sorry audience), but for the most part I had just thought that I was having the "Bloody Show" that usually precedes labor by a day or two. By the time Chris got home from work though, I'd started to see more water-like emanations and some red blood and so, after debating for a little bit, we finally called the doctor who said that my water may have broken and we should head to the hospital to be sure. Off we went to the hospital, bags all packed, hoping (though skeptical) that would be admitted with baby only hours away. After spending an hour or two at the hospital, we were told that nope, my water had not broken and indeed, I was only a "dimple" dilated, so we should head home and wait until I started feeling "100% different than (I did) right now". And so, back in the car we went. By the time we were five minutes out from the hospital, I was starting to have fairly painful contractions. I didn't know if the pain that was shooting all through my back and abdomen was from a true increase in contraction strength or if it was just a result of being subjected to two back-to-back car rides across the New Jersey potholes and, of course, I was hesitant to acknowledge the change at this point, having just been told that there was nothing happening in the baby-producing arena. By the time we got home though, there was no denying it. I was having STRONG contractions and, unlike those I'd experienced in the previous days, these had a clear beginning and ending and when Chris insisted we start timing them, lo and behold, they were only five, then four, then three minutes apart. Despite my hesitation, Chris insisted we turn around and head right back to the hospital and it's a good thing we did. "I had a feeling I might see you back tonight," the admitting nurse told us, and it turned out that I was now 1 centimeter dilated and on the road to birth. We were admitted to the hospital and transferred to a Labor and Delivery Room after what felt like FOREVER, though in reality it was probably only an hour at most. An hour...nothing really considering the fact that it was 13 full hours later that Kayla finally emerged into the world. At the point that we were admitted to the hospital it was 2am. I have to admit that though it is possible to prepare for labor, it is impossible to truly picture what you will experience. The combination of adrenaline highs and lows, exhaustion, pain, focus, excitement, hope...it is such a mixed experience. I felt confident and strong throughout the whole experience, although I was definitely increasingly surprised by how INTENSE the contractions could be. Some of the night is a blur as I drifted in and out of sleep. Sleep...intense focus...sleep...intense focus...From time to time the doctor or nurse would come by to check on me and the baby. Every time they did, it was a relief to hear that progress was being made. Four centimeters...and then, seemingly suddenly, nine centimeters. Nine centimeters! And before I knew it, it was time to push. It was so nice to finally feel like I could contribute to the process rather than just surviving it. I was so happy to finally know that this little baby couldn't be more than a few hours away.

I will spare you the details - those interested, I'm sure we will talk offline - but let's just say that it wasn't until 3.5 hours later that I finally held Kayla in my arms. 3.5 hours is a long time when you are a) working harder than you have EVER worked before, both physically and mentally and b) know that you have something of a deadline approaching; much over three hours an a c-section starts being a very real possibility. I truly think, drugs or not, being in good physical shape and having practiced some relaxation and breathing techniques are KEY in making it through the birth process. Labor, as its name suggests, is hard work. Knowing that you have struggled through and survived tough physical challenges before, knowing that you can withstand and endure...it really helps you believe in yourself as you are going through an experience that can only be described as a test of self. But I don't mean to describe it as something terrible or scary. The reality is that it is the most amazing thing I have ever done. The process itself actually wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it might be and when I held Kayla in my arms...I created her. I brought her into being. I cannot describe the wonder and awe that accompany that knowledge. Those moments afterward, when Chris and I both looked at each other, choked up and fighting back tears...nothing could ever be as amazing. I will forever replay those moments in my head and know that if I am capable of this, I am capable of anything.



There is so much more to say about that weekend and the past six days...our fears over Kayla's minor jaundice, our first nights as new parents, the various lessons learned during out first outings (projectile fluids...you cannot imagine...), our trips to the boo-boo doctors and our hours of fascinated wonder - staring down at this little girl who is now and forever a part of our world. All of those things seem to require their own entries though. The birth itself is just too significant to be mushed into an entry with other events.

At any rate, dear readers, know that this blog will continue to exist. Entries may not come quite as quickly now that I am a mommy rather than an expectant mother, but I will do my best to keep it updated with all the things I am sure to learn, experience, and be stunned by in the coming months/years. Thanks for being patient and for continuing to be interested in Kayla now that she is here in the flesh.

Mystery Solved!

So, apparently the reason that I now have to pee every 2 minutes and have sharp pains when I try to do certain stretches during yoga is that not only is Orange Seed now head down, but she is so far down that when the doctor tried to feel her out today her comment was "Ah, okay. She is so far down that I am only feeling neck where I would expect to feel head." Now, initially I wondered if I needed to be worried that this meant she is trying to enter the world before she is allowed, but according to the doc, nope, she has just decided that she is ready to get into her proper position. I guess it's still possible for her to move back up and out before the due date, but for now she is seemingly content to be in pre-launch position.

I am proud of her for already being in the right position. I am hoping this means that she will be born in the same way she has been gestating - smooth and easy.

That said, this does mean that I am in for 9 1/2 more weeks of some pretty impressive pelvic pain and general lower-abdomen heaviness. Suddenly I know why all those later pregnancy women walk so slowly. It's not because they have gotten out of shape, it's because their babies are sitting low and so walking any faster makes baby bounce, which not only doesn't feel great to your poor pubic bone, but also makes you have to pee ever more frequently. Also, it's because their lungs have been mushed up into a very small cavity in their torso with far less room to expand than in previous months. You know how you feel after a humongous meal? One in which you cleaned your plate and then ordered and demolished dessert even though you knew you were beyond full? Well, imagine that feeling 24/7. That's a little like what third-trimester pregnancy feels like. I mean, look at it this way...

In Week 6 of pregnancy, your body still has most of its organs in the appropriate places. That big "empty" spot above the baby, that is where your lungs, stomach, etc., all have their own lovely roomy abodes. Ahh...plenty of room to expand.



Now, in Week 31, we see that the big "empty" spot is...wait...where did it go? That's right, it's gone and with it the comfort of all your organs with the exception of the uterus, which has suddenly become top dog when it comes to occupying space within your body cavity. Now do the shortness of breath and feelings of tightness/heaviness make sense? Compound that new lack of available space with the fact that the baby is now weighing in at more than 3lbs and it only makes sense that things are getting a little weird in the body department.

But that's okay, Orange Seed. We want you to stay put for at least the next 8-10 weeks. Mommy is happy to put up with a little discomfort to ensure that you are full-grown and fully-developed before you come out to join us in this big crazy world.

Nesting

Baby has a bed! And the most impressive part...her mom put it together ALL ON HER OWN! Actually, more impressive than that, the thing looks like it is actually going to hold together and I don't think there is so much as one piece out of place. That's right. I am a furniture building GOD. The crib arrived early last week. The delivery man called and informed me that he would be leaving it by the front door. I tried to play the pregnancy card, letting him know that I am 7 months pregnant and that carrying a 60lb box up four flights of stairs is not exactly in my bag of tricks right now, but he merely said "Well, I'm sure your husband can do it when he gets home." Next time I'm going to be quicker. Next time I'm going to respond by bursting into tears and exclaiming "My...My...I don't have a husband...anymore...that woman..." or maybe "...the crash..." and we'll see if that gets me some furniture delivered to my door. But, this time, I was left to unpack the box in the downstairs lobby, then carry the crib piece by piece up to the apartment. But, it was all worth it as that afternoon those numerous pieces all came together into one adorable (and hopefully safe!) crib.

It still feels a little surreal, but having the crib put together does make me feel at least slightly more prepared. There are only so many things you HAVE to have before the baby is born. A crib/bed is kind of one of them. Now we just need someplace to change the baby; diapers and related necessities; and the basics in terms of medical/hygiene paraphernalia. And the car seat! Gotta get the car seat. I don't want to have to pull a Brittany Spears on the way home from the hospital because we forgot to get that one most important of things. With two showers coming up at the end of the month, we are sure to pick up some more useful things and I keep reminding myself that whatever we don't take away from the showers, we will still have 6 weeks or so to get, so no need to panic yet. It would definitely be nice to feel ready though. I wonder if you ever really do.

Another exciting item arrived to help us get prepared this week. Grandma and Grandpa Spatz were wonderful enough to buy us a beautiful rocking chair and ottoman. It is the most cushy and comfortable chair in the world. We can't wait to spend hours and hours rocking little Orange Seed in that chair. In fact, after spending some quality time rocking in it today, I'm thinking I may be spending some hours sleeping in that chair as well. So comfy...Well worth poor Chris having to drag the 80lb box, which another kind delivery man just dropped in the front lobby, up four flights of stairs to the apartment. Also well worth having our neighbors hate us after said box got left in the lobby all day long, completely blocking anyone from getting in or out of the building without having to utilize some serious pole vaulting skills. Sorry, neighbors!

It is hard to believe that we only have 10 weeks to go now. Less than 10 actually. It is all starting to feel very real as we start going on hospital tours and taking Childbirth classes. Accepting the reality of being pregnant was one thing. Now realizing that in only 10 short weeks we will have an actual baby is something totally different. A couple of weeks ago we went on our hospital tour and though I had been feeling completely calm and prepared, something about being in the hospital, seeing the actual delivery room, and then looking into the nursery at all of those little round faces drove a new sense of reality home. I have gotten so used to the idea that there is a baby inside me, that I think the reality that I would soon have one outside in my arms hadn't really sunk in. Knowing that Orange Seed will be here soon is the most exciting thing in the world and yet, the birth is such an unknown. You can read all of the pregnancy books and check off symptoms you do or don't have as they happen. No matter how many times you read about the delivery process or hear other people's stories, you just can't really visualize or understand it before it happens. Having such a huge unknown at the end of the process is a strange thing to deal with. That said, I'm actually not afraid. There's some anxiety...certainly a sense of unease in all of the anticipation, but I'm not afraid per se. I do believe that this is a natural process. Women were built for this. And I certainly believe everything will be fine, but preparing for delivery and for being parents to an actual, live, 100% dependent baby is something that just feels so intangible. And so, we do what we can to prepare in our own way. We build cribs. We make scrapbooks. We buy diapers and diaper cream and onesies and medical supplies. We take Infant Care Classes. We keep blogs and journals and we talk - we talk to friends, to family, to ourselves, and to Orange Seed. We reassure ourselves that everything we really need to know to be good parents is already inside of us. The rest...well...that's just the learning curve that comes with any new job. And in this case, the most important thing we need to know, that unshakable, unending, unbelievable love between a parent and child, well, that is already present and powerful and with that, all will be fine.

Pilates Playtime

To celebrate being 27 Weeks old today, Orange Seed decided to give a little performance. In pilates class this morning, as her mom lay prone on her side, trying to focus on her ab work, Orange Seed suddenly decided she wanted to get in a little workout of her own. She began twisting and turning and flipping around so much that she completely distracted her mommy, who struggled desperately not to burst out in a fit of giggles, but far more impressive than that...

She managed to distract that pilates instructor who was literally three people away!

As Orange Seed was performing her acrobatics, the pilates instructor started giggling and said "So, sometimes baby gets a little bit active in this position." Then she looked at me, smiled, and said "As I can tell from HERE that your little one is doing." HA! Orange Seed, you are getting so big and strong that someone across the room can see your antics! I lost it at that point. I burst out laughing and, well, I suppose that is an abs workout in and of itself, so despite the fact that I was giggling too much to do the actual suggested maneuvers, at least I still managed to get the work done.

Congratulations, Orange Seed. You made your own special kind of "appearance" in honor of your special day and, I have to admit, I am pretty darned proud of you.

Confirmation!

Chris DID feel the baby! As we were getting ready for bed last night, she suddenly went into full-on Karate Kid maneuvers and sure enough, Chris placed his hand on my belly and *BAM*, she gave him two big kicks to the palm. I have been telling her all day how proud I am of her, although, I also told her that once she's kicked daddy, it is okay to stop with the roundhouses so that mommy can actually get some sleep. Lesson learned: Baby loves bananas and bananas make baby kick, but while this is a great mid-afternoon trick, maybe bananas right before bed are NOT the best idea. :)

Singing it from the Rooftops

Now that we are finally "official" and are spreading the word to friends and family, it seemed like starting a blog would be a great way to keep everyone up-to-date regarding Orange Seed's progress. The nice thing about blogs is that you only have to look at them when you choose, so you can decide whether you care to hear about whether or not Orange Seed has fingers, toes, and eyelashes this week or whether you would rather just stay blissfully unaware of all the little developments that keep a parent-to-be fascinated morning, noon, and night (and all the hours in between, if we're being honest).

For those of you who do care...this week Orange Seed is about the size of a woman's clenched fist. Hair is starting to sprout on its little head. Its vocal chords are already beginning to develop (uh oh!). The baby now has individual fingers and toes and based on the last ultrasound, finally looks like a baby, not just like a crustacean, a la 9 week ultrasound.

9 Weeks!

12 Weeks!

Oh! And the moniker...the story of the Orange...so way back in Week 5 when C and I first found out about Orange Seed's existence, I immediately bought us all the Must Have baby books so that we would know what the heck we were getting ourselves into to. If you haven't seen any of these books, they are absolutely fabulous and try to make this little creature, whose existence feels completely surreal for oh so long, at least a little more tangible for you. One way they do that is to describe your child as various fruits and veggies in an attempt to make those "This week your baby is 3.5cm long!" announcements a little easier to grasp. The week we found out that we would be parents come next April, our baby was the size of an orange seed. The title has stuck. Even now, 9 weeks later, when Orange Seed is actually the size of a peach, we're still referring to him/her by his/her original name.

So, 14 weeks down and 26 to go. Amazing how something can feel so real and surreal all at the same time. There's no real belly yet, no outward signs. The ultrasound where we saw him/her swing its little arms and legs was really the most "real" moment we've had. That said, we kiss Orange Seed goodnight (well, Chris does. Little hard for me.), we talk to him/her and we love him/her more than is really reasonable or comprehensible at this point. It's the most amazing experience...we're enjoying every moment.