Today was a relaxing day. I went to pilates this morning, then we went out and did our part - donating to the Salvation Army, then we came back and installed the baby seat in the car (It fit! Hallelujah!) and then we settled in for a nice afternoon of vegging on the couch while watching the ACC tournament games.
But all that calm and serenity came to a halt at 10:12 tonight when suddenly...
*drip*
*drip*
Erin: *blink blink* Did you see that?
Chris: What?
*drip*
(two sets of eyes slowly move to the ceiling above the couch)
*drip*
Erin: Oh my god...the ceiling is definitely leaking.
*drip* (off to the right)
Chris: You are totally right.
*drip* (from somewhere behind)
Erin: In numerous spots!
(two sets of eyes look up again and see...
Chris: *giggle*So, since we are not on the top floor, water dripping from the ceiling seems especially strange, even despite the storm that has been raging outside all day long. Of course, my first suspicion is Captain Suckage upstairs who has tormented us with his elephant footfalls and constant furniture rearranging since the day we moved in. I figured this was just his newest, most imaginative way of torturing us. But nope...Chris went up to the fourth floor to let Captain Horrendous know that he was flooding us and it turns out (we should have known from the serene stillness we had enjoyed all afternoon) he's not home. Hmm...so it was off to the neighbors to beg the number of the property management company. God bless our neighbors who not only found us the number and called for us (Our neighbor rocks. Under his silver tongue, our dripping ceiling quickly became a "gushing torrent of water" which he guaranteed would get the management company's attention sooner.), but who also came over and were able to tell us that the guy above us has a balcony with a sliding glass door and that this isn't the first time they've had a leaking problem because of it.
I knew he was evil.
30 minutes later, after we've sprung two more leaks, the Property Management Company finally calls. When you picture this conversation, picture the guy talking with a thick Jersey accent, because I'm sorry, but it just makes the story even more special.
Property Mgmt Guy: Yeah, uh, we got a call about this address...
Me: Yes, we called because our ceiling is leaking in numerous spots and we're trying to figure out what we are supposed to do.
Property Mgmt Guy: Yeah, well, that's bound to happen.
Me: *stupefied silence* what?
Property Mgmt Guy: Well, with the rain, we've gotten like 100 calls. It's bound to happen.
Me: Yeah, okay, but we're not even on the top floor...
Property Mgmt Guy: Hmm, yeah, well listen, it's gonna happen. What you gotta do now is poke a hole in the area that's leaking because you gotta drain it so it doesn't just keep getting worse...
At this point, Chris must have seen the look of horror on my face because he confiscated the phone and finished the rest of the conversation, but seriously...
"That's bound to happen"???
My ceiling is bound to leak when it rains?
Really?
Wow, clearly all this time I have been confused about the very nature of a ceiling, about it's reason for existing. I had the impression that the ceiling was there to keep OUT the rain. I mean, that's what all my other ceilings have done, but now I guess I know that those ceilings were confused as to their purpose and mission. Ceilings "are bound" to let in rain. Who knew?
"That's bound to happen."
Nice.
Needless to say, Property Mgmt Guy was not overly helpful, so here we sit, pots and pans spread around the room, towels covering so much of the floor that we look like we are trying out a new beach themed decorating scheme. And maybe it's just my imagination, but I think it's getting chillier in here. That said, we haven't sprung a new leak in at least 10 minutes, which gives me great hope. And, suspiciously, about 10 minutes ago we heard a strange screeching, sliding sound, that definitely could have been a sliding glass door. My guess? Captain Chaos upstairs came home, realized he had neglected to CLOSE his sliding glass door during this monsoon, shut it, and now we are experiencing a slowdown in the level of water as the problem has all but been solved. Chris thinks I'm crazy, but seriously...it definitely could have been the sound of a sliding glass door closing. Plus, I like to blame everything on the guy upstairs because he is my arch nemesis. My being woken up at 8am to the sound of a vacuum overhead? His fault. Our sitting here with clenched jaws because every 5 minutes a huge BANG erupts from above as he lets some new object slide through his butterfingers? His fault. The fact that it's raining? His fault. The fact that the price of a grande mocha at Starbucks went up? His fault. The reason we can't solve this whole healthcare issue? His fault. All perfectly logical things to blame him for.
*drip*
*drip*
*drip*
*drip*
Regardless, I am now surrounded by pots and pans slowly filling with water. And I may have to sleep with one on my head just in case that side of the apartment decides to erupt tonight. This is great entertainment 5 weeks before the baby arrives. Nothing like a good diversion to keep up the excitement.
By the way, if this baby is late...I'm totally blaming the dude upstairs.
No comments:
Post a Comment