Chuck Norris Lives in My Uterus

Well, it's official. We are out of babies at the top of the screen, so I guess that means that Orange Seed really will make an appearance soon. I have to admit that I can't wait. While the first 8 months seemed to fly by, these last 5 weeks are dra-a-aging. When I think back on my first and second trimesters, the refrain "You don't know what you got til it's gone" pops into my head. Logically, I realize that the next 4.5 weeks will fly by, but when I sit here with an aching back and bruised and battered ribs, it certainly doesn't feel like time is doing anything but meandering slowly along, occasionally stopping to smell the flowers. Listen time, I know it is finally starting to feel like spring out there, but enough with the lallygagging, got it??

"Wait...bruised and battered ribs?" you ask. Why, yes. In the past couple weeks, Orange Seed has taken up the highly unnerving pastime of kicking and kneading and generally just beating on my ribs. On the one hand, it seems she is still head down (yay!) because I'm pretty sure that the culprits in this case are her feet. On the other hand, can we just talk about how much it hurts to have someone kicking you in the ribcage from the inside? (As an aside, I'm sure it doesn't feel good from the outside either, for those of you have had it happen and are about to interrupt, but somehow having it happen from within your own body is so much more disturbing. If you've seen Alien or if you've read the Twilight series, just picture the scenes of those little stomach born monsters trying to get out. Mmhmm. Just like that. At least if the beater is on the outside you have a chance to escape. There is no escaping Chuck Norris in your uterus!) On Monday, Orange Seed was exceptionally active and I swear she kicked and rubbed and battered my ribs non-stop for about 13 hours straight. This was not only exceedingly painful while it was happening, but the next day I felt like I was waking up after having gone round for round with Muhammad Ali the night before. My poor ribs are so sore that it hurts to sit, let alone move. There is also apparently a sweet spot in there that when she kicks it, it not only aches, but it sends a searing pain all through my upper body. What is that?? And do I need it, because I'm pretty sure she is trying to put it out of commission?! And why, oh why, did the person who planned this whole pregnancy thing out not find a way to keep baby BELOW the ribcage? For all the times that I wondered if God might be a woman, being pregnant has 100% solidified the fact that nope, no female planning here. No woman would let the baby come up into your ribcage because she would realize that on top of all the other "special" things you experience during pregnancy, experiencing this as well is just not fair. Additionally, a woman would not have included bad skin in the pregnancy equation because, well, come on...honestly. Ooh, nor would a woman have allowed for the period-like bleeding that I am apparently going to have for days to weeks after the birth. Sorry if that is TMI, but these are the things you start to learn as you get closer and closer to D-Day and these are the things that make you go "hmm...".

Outside of being beaten up by my unborn child (I knew we were in trouble when her last ultrasound pic showed her flexing!), I have been busy trying to knock out the last few things we need to get done before the birth. This week we've been visiting pediatricians, which is enlightening and totally confusing all at the same time. We've also been working on things like making sure our insurance is good to go, getting Chris a new/working cell phone so that when I go into labor I am not scrambling to get ahold of him, taking some trips to the Salvation Army to make a little more space in here, and just generally getting organized and prepared.

I've also been trying to keep up the workout routine, though I have to admit that it is getting a little more burdensome these days. Swimming is still a great workout and relief, but jogging is definitely out now. I kind of saw it coming, but the last two times I've tried to switch from a brisk walk to a jog, I've gotten a horrible cramp in my lower right side that takes minutes to go away, so after getting the cramp for the third time today, I think it is officially time to admit jogging defeat. This is especially hard now that the weather is so nice. Yes, I can still go for long walks, in fact, Orange Seed and I took a nice 4 mile walk this morning, but it is still torturous to see everyone else flying by, their legs pumping, sweat pouring off of them. I hate not being able to pick up the pace. But if I can't run/jog for just the last 4 weeks of pregnancy, I guess that is really nothing to cry about. Lord knows it could be far worse. Getting to do a lot more yoga lately has helped fill the void. Since I've finally been home for some solid weeks/weekends, I'm finally managing to make it back out to yoga and pilates. It's so funny to now be the Senior person in those classes. Last week in pilates, all the 20 week pregnant women were complaining about "popping" and how "huge" they are and how much they "ache" and I just wanted to say "Oh, ladies...if you only KNEW what you are in for. You can't feel that bad now! You are barely pregnant!" That's right. I am that woman now. Now I know why all the 35 week pregnant people just looked at me like "Oh please, you are SO not pregnant" when I was in there at 12 weeks. They were right. I was SO not pregnant. NOW I am pregnant. You have to earn your pregnancy badge. Only bruised ribs and an aching back will really get you into the club. Until your child is beating you up from the inside and you can't sit in one position for more than 5 minutes, I don't want to hear it.

Okay, kidding, kidding...everyone is different and everyone has a different reaction to pregnancy. Pregnant friends, do not be afraid to call and complain. I will totally sympathize, even if you are only at 12 weeks. Of course, I may also have to pause mid-call to groan in pain and push my baby's legs out of my ribs...just sayin'.

It Demands a Sacrifice

Last night I woke up in a new and exciting way.

At 445am, I was awoken by the sound of my stomach growling and when I say growling, I don't mean grumbling or rumbling or any of those other cutesy terms people use to describe their stomachs' hunger signals. When Pooh Bear would talk about a "rumbly in (his) tumbly," he had no idea how much worse it could be. I mean last night my stomach did not rumble, it full on ROARed. I mean I awoke to my stomach growling "WAKE UP AND EAT BEFORE I EAT YOU!!!!" Along with the growling of my stomach, Orange Seed was throwing herself all over in there, I'm sure terrified that she was under attack by a herd of wild boar or better yet, yeti. Honestly...you have never heard anything like it. I laid there for 15 minutes thinking "This can't be happening. My stomach can't possibly be waking me up at 445am to eat. I mean come on...there is pregnant and then there is stupid pregnant." But after 15 minutes, the growling hadn't subsided and was, in fact, getting worse, so I finally did the only thing I could do. I dragged my sleepy, confused self out of bed and into the kitchen for a granola bar.

Now, maybe I should have known better. It did occur to me when I went to sleep that I probably hadn't gotten enough calories yesterday. Between working out hard that afternoon and then running off to Newborn Care class last night so that dinner consisted of one tiny turkey wrap, I kind of figured I probably should have forced some more food down once we got home last night. But here's the thing...I didn't feel hungry! I just didn't. My stomach wasn't making any noises at the reasonable time of 930pm about wanting more food, so by the time I went to bed at 11, I just sort of figured everything was working out. Oh how wrong I was. I am paying for that calorie deficit today. Not only did I have the 445am wake-up, but ever since I got up at 900am this morning, my stomach has been on a rampage. I couldn't get to that bowl of Cheerios quick enough. I followed that about 30 minutes later with a banana. I followed that about an hour or two later with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a handful of baby carrots. And now, only oh...20 minutes later, I am STARVING again. I mean my God, you would think I had fasted for a month.

So I guess the lesson here is that should you find yourself in the position of being responsible for growing within your belly a child who, at this point, is supposed to be gaining approximately .5lbs per week, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, FEED THE BELLY!!! The belly knows that you are supporting not just one life, but two, right now and it demands a sacrifice.

Now You See It, Now You Don't

Lately, I have noticed something entertaining happening at the gym. I've watched people who have only seen me from the back do a double-take as I turn to face them or as they suddenly catch a glimpse of my profile. This happens typically when either I was on the treadmill in front of them and they haven't seen my front/side until I step off post-workout or when I am over lifting weights and all you can see until you walk up next to me is my body from either the shoulders up or hips down, depending on where you might be standing amongst the weight machines. The look goes a little like this: normal eyes meet mine and smile politely, then said eyes glance down, take in my ginormous belly, widen to the size of saucers and look back up at me all startled and and alarmed. Now listen, on the one hand, I take this as a huge compliment. I take this to mean that I am not obviously pregnant from the back nor am I swelling as the books say I will. This week, the book says I should watch out for chipmunk cheeks. Chipmunk cheeks? Seriously? I think not! At any rate, I thought a little photo aid, for those of you who haven't seen me in awhile, might help you understand the gym scenario.

Picture #1 - Erin From the Back

Picture #2 - Erin From the Side

Reality of the pictures? Erin is now a full 34 weeks pregnant and what was once a little Orange Seed is now a hefty 5lb "pineapple" who has pushed out my stomach, ribs, and hips to make enough room for her ever growing mass. Notice too that in order to make these pics of the Gym Experience especially realistic, I took them right after I got back from a good long workout. Nothing like pics of a sweaty pregnant lady to start the day off right, no?

I should probably be taking pictures every week at this point. I certainly feel like my belly is now growing with every day. It's amazing how things have changed in just a couple of weeks. I'm finally the one in yoga class who can't bend into certain positions without the help of a block. Orange Seed now moves constantly, to the point where though I still love feeling her squirming around in there, I also occasionally want to tell her to take it easy. The fact that her new favorite place to put her feet is up under my ribcage makes some of her sweet movements a little harsher than necessary. Also, the fact that she will now occasionally do what I swear must be a full 360-somersault in there is making some of her escapades feel more like a bad case of seasickness than like the sweet tickles of baby toes. Seeing as she weighed 4lbs6oz at our last appointment and is supposed to be gaining nearly .5lbs per week, Orange Seed could now be weighing in at over 5lbs total. Incredible to think that she is somehow going to manage to pack on another 3 or so lbs before it is time for her to emerge. I'm not totally convinced that there is room in there for another 3lbs. I've been getting some pretty intense shots of pain through my ribs lately and I'm thinking that it's because they are being forced to expand with her increase in size. I've got to believe there is only so far they can go before we start seeing breakage. But then, the body is certainly an amazing thing and who knows...maybe those ribs are made of more flexible material than I have previously been informed. Let's hope so, otherwise it might be time to invest in a corset to keep those suckers in place.

Mystery Solved!

So, apparently the reason that I now have to pee every 2 minutes and have sharp pains when I try to do certain stretches during yoga is that not only is Orange Seed now head down, but she is so far down that when the doctor tried to feel her out today her comment was "Ah, okay. She is so far down that I am only feeling neck where I would expect to feel head." Now, initially I wondered if I needed to be worried that this meant she is trying to enter the world before she is allowed, but according to the doc, nope, she has just decided that she is ready to get into her proper position. I guess it's still possible for her to move back up and out before the due date, but for now she is seemingly content to be in pre-launch position.

I am proud of her for already being in the right position. I am hoping this means that she will be born in the same way she has been gestating - smooth and easy.

That said, this does mean that I am in for 9 1/2 more weeks of some pretty impressive pelvic pain and general lower-abdomen heaviness. Suddenly I know why all those later pregnancy women walk so slowly. It's not because they have gotten out of shape, it's because their babies are sitting low and so walking any faster makes baby bounce, which not only doesn't feel great to your poor pubic bone, but also makes you have to pee ever more frequently. Also, it's because their lungs have been mushed up into a very small cavity in their torso with far less room to expand than in previous months. You know how you feel after a humongous meal? One in which you cleaned your plate and then ordered and demolished dessert even though you knew you were beyond full? Well, imagine that feeling 24/7. That's a little like what third-trimester pregnancy feels like. I mean, look at it this way...

In Week 6 of pregnancy, your body still has most of its organs in the appropriate places. That big "empty" spot above the baby, that is where your lungs, stomach, etc., all have their own lovely roomy abodes. Ahh...plenty of room to expand.



Now, in Week 31, we see that the big "empty" spot is...wait...where did it go? That's right, it's gone and with it the comfort of all your organs with the exception of the uterus, which has suddenly become top dog when it comes to occupying space within your body cavity. Now do the shortness of breath and feelings of tightness/heaviness make sense? Compound that new lack of available space with the fact that the baby is now weighing in at more than 3lbs and it only makes sense that things are getting a little weird in the body department.

But that's okay, Orange Seed. We want you to stay put for at least the next 8-10 weeks. Mommy is happy to put up with a little discomfort to ensure that you are full-grown and fully-developed before you come out to join us in this big crazy world.

Sad to Report...

...we are back from Mexico and back to the 30 degree days and 18 degree nights. Waaaaaah. 8 days of sun, sand, and nada coladas was a wonderful break from the winter monotony and coming back to the reality of January in NYC was as harsh as expected - picture 18 degree winds whipping you about the head. But, complaints regarding the cold aside, the trip was incredible. Though I had blown the surprise location, Chris was still 100% surprised to find that not only were we going to Mexico, but Brad, Anna, Allie, Janie, Dave and Adam were all there as well. A whole week of relaxation with some of our closest friends was exactly the way he had hoped to spend his 30th Bday, so the surprise thrilled him and the week was a blast. Chris and I also got our first taste of vacationing with kids and though we now know that sleeping in is not an option with an 18-month old, we also know that having little ones at the pool makes the pool twice as fun. Allie and Adam were both adorable and we're only hoping that Orange Seed will be half as good.


Adam spent the week teaching us how to play Good Turtles vs Bad Turtles in the pool and Allie spent the week learning our names so that she could make us go "awwwwwwww" every time she would then see us and either say "Ernin!" or "Kis!". She also spent the week cracking us up by making her "Cutie Pie" face, which basically involves squinting her eyes, puckering up her lips, and then insisting "Pie! Pie!" Clearly her cuteness has not been missed by anyone, including her.




Chris and I enjoyed getting to just relax and unwind for a week. Orange Seed apparently enjoyed it too, because she was more active than ever. She stayed up until about 1am one night, spinning such circles in my belly that her dad and I both had to wonder whether or not that chocolate crepe before bed might have been a baaaaad idea. She also started kicking early in the morning. Though her dad was pretty convinced she would be just fine with us sleeping in, I was pretty sure she was begging to be brought back to the pool. I think Orange Seed liked the toasty warm feeling of having her home get browned in the sun.

Overall, a wonderful week that is better shown in pictures than explained in words.

Estómagos Grandes son Hermosas!

Dear Dr. Gerardis -

Why, oh why, can't you be the only doctor in my practice? You are so kind and sweet and friendly. Even today, when you are struggling with a terrible cough, you come in all smiles and call me "honey" and take the time to see how I'm feeling and to ask if I have any questions. You explain everything you're doing and tell me where I fall on all the scales (average measurement, weight, etc.). At the end of each appointment I have with you, I just want to wrap you up in a big hug and say "Thank you! Thank you for being the only doctor in this practice who seems genuinely interested in who I am and how I'm doing." If I wind up having to be induced, I will certainly be trying to weasel my way into having it done to coincide with when you are on call.

Yours with Hope That You Will Be in the Delivery Room with Me,
Erin


Tomorrow we head to Mexico. It was good to have a last little check-up before we go, to make sure that Orange Seed is still doing just fine and that we should be healthy enough to have a good, no-issues, trip. The results from Ghetto Lab came in and my glucose levels are not only fine, but "Excellent. Doesn't get better than that," according to Dr. Gerardis. We are also at no risk for anemia and Orange Seed is measuring at just the right size. Additionally, I got to ask if the fact that I've gained way less weight than all these pregnancy books say I should have at this point is an issue. Nope, it's not. In fact, she complimented me on how healthy I am and said she wished all her patients could stay this diligent throughout pregnancy. And yes, that was a total pat on the back, but hey...there have definitely been times I would have rather had a cookie sundae than a salad and there have definitely been times that I haven't felt like taking my aching back to the gym, but each time, I have taken a deep breath and reminded myself that healthier is better and so, I think I deserve a little pat on the back, no? Plus, we need to boost the self-confidence now that we are only one day away from having to put on a swimsuit at the beach. Bellies are beautiful. Bellies are beautiful. Or, in the native speak of my soon to be vacation spot, "Estómagos grandes son hermosas. Estómagos grandes son hermosas."

And so, with that assertion in mind, we're off to Mexico. Adios, mis amigos. See you in a week!

Pilates Playtime

To celebrate being 27 Weeks old today, Orange Seed decided to give a little performance. In pilates class this morning, as her mom lay prone on her side, trying to focus on her ab work, Orange Seed suddenly decided she wanted to get in a little workout of her own. She began twisting and turning and flipping around so much that she completely distracted her mommy, who struggled desperately not to burst out in a fit of giggles, but far more impressive than that...

She managed to distract that pilates instructor who was literally three people away!

As Orange Seed was performing her acrobatics, the pilates instructor started giggling and said "So, sometimes baby gets a little bit active in this position." Then she looked at me, smiled, and said "As I can tell from HERE that your little one is doing." HA! Orange Seed, you are getting so big and strong that someone across the room can see your antics! I lost it at that point. I burst out laughing and, well, I suppose that is an abs workout in and of itself, so despite the fact that I was giggling too much to do the actual suggested maneuvers, at least I still managed to get the work done.

Congratulations, Orange Seed. You made your own special kind of "appearance" in honor of your special day and, I have to admit, I am pretty darned proud of you.

Milestone

Today the Baby-Meter has announced a major milestone...100 Days to go! Though on any other occasion, 100 days would sound horribly long, somehow in this case 100 days seems like a mere drop in the bucket(-o-pregnancy). Though we're getting more and more eager for Orange Seed to arrive, it still seems hard to believe that I am almost 2/3rds of the way through my pregnancy and that Orange Seed will arrive in only a little over 3 months. While there will be obvious benefits to NOT being pregnant anymore (cuddly baby, lack-o-belly, ability to sleep on stomach or back...), I also have to say that I have really enjoyed being pregnant so far. You hear so many horror stories from other pregnant women, so I was prepared for 10 months of misery and drama, but honestly...it has been fun! Okay, so there are parts that are not convenient and I recognize that overall I have had it easier than most, but still. It is sad to think that someone might be forced to go through these months without any enjoyment. Especially now that I am nearing the end of my second trimester and can feel Orange Seed moving around on a regular basis, being pregnant is no longer scary and is, instead, just exciting. As I've said before, there is something really magical about carrying around this little life inside of you. You are someone's home for 10 months. And, though Chris keeps telling me that my body no longer belongs to me, but only belongs to Orange Seed, I have to say that I don't really felt like I've given up my body at all. There are some obvious differences in it, but far from being alienated from my body, I feel more in touch with it now than ever. Women, especially, spend an inordinate amount of time fretting over our bodies. What is this little dimple here? What is that spot over there? Should this be bigger? Could that be smaller? Pregnancy is such a RELIEF as a woman! For once, I am not worrying about how I should or shouldn't look and can, instead, just focus on how I do look and what my body is doing (incredibly) to prepare itself for baby.

I have definitely had days where I have caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and done a double-take at the new basketball-like protrusion stemming from my mid-section but, I have also had a lot of days, especially lately, where I have marveled at my body, proud of the way it is able to meld itself into the perfect home when, not so long ago, it couldn't even have imagined being this shape. I admit that I might feel differently had I let myself give into pregnancy and all the "treat yourself" messages that sometimes go along with it. I might not be feeling quite so body-positive if I had gained a ton of weight or was seeing changes in places other than my belly. But, in my case, I feel like my body has stayed strong and able and has merely added a new special quality to itself, one that I could never have anticipated would be so satisfying and enjoyable.

I know someone out there just groaned and someone else just rolled their eyes. I know a few people are going to find this post unbelievable or cheesy, but for those of you who haven't been through this yet and are thinking that one day you want to have this experience, please...when it all begins to happen, take a deep breath, relax, and instead of preparing for a roller-coaster of terror, prepare to enjoy the most fascinating ride of your life. Pregnancy is, to some extent, what you make of it. All I can say is that if you go in planning to be relaxed, healthy, and active, your body will comply and will thank you later. It always makes me giggle when she says it, but I think my Yoga instructor is onto something when she says, "You are all beautiful, empowered, birthing goddesses". :)

Confirmation!

Chris DID feel the baby! As we were getting ready for bed last night, she suddenly went into full-on Karate Kid maneuvers and sure enough, Chris placed his hand on my belly and *BAM*, she gave him two big kicks to the palm. I have been telling her all day how proud I am of her, although, I also told her that once she's kicked daddy, it is okay to stop with the roundhouses so that mommy can actually get some sleep. Lesson learned: Baby loves bananas and bananas make baby kick, but while this is a great mid-afternoon trick, maybe bananas right before bed are NOT the best idea. :)

And Also...

It is time for more belly pics!

I have been having trouble nailing Chris down to conduct my photo shoot for me, so I tried to snap a few myself. They aren't great, but Chris has promised to act as official photographer soon, so we should have better ones shortly. But, for now...

21 Weeks and 2 Days


I feel like the clothed picture looks more true to reality. Some of the bared-belly pics look so BIG and I am still wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans (skinny jeans even!), so my belly can't really have popped yet, can it?? (Denial...it ain't just a river in Egypt)



That said, at least the belly now looks pregnant rather than just well-fed or bloated! "Orange Seed's Home", as Chris calls it, is starting to look pretty legit.

Pillow Fort

So, the question is...how do you fit your pregnant self, your husband, and approximately six pillows into one queen size bed? After being down with the flu for the past week and then having Chris out of town this weekend, I had gotten used to having enough bed-space to make myself a comfortable little pillow fort each night. One pillow under my head, one under my shoulder, one under my belly, one between my legs, one tight up against my back. So comfy. Like a supportive little cocoon of happiness. But then last night Chris came home and while I was eager to swap out my pillows for him, come to find out...*GASP*...he is NOT as comfortable as the pillow fort! I didn't have the heart to try to force a big down-filled barrier between us, plus I'm not totally convinced that we're all going to fit. It is either time for a king size bed (like THAT would make it up the four flights of narrow stairs) or it is time for some feasibility trials. How many pillows can share the bed without us being a)so far apart that we don't even know we're in the same room and b)so squished on the bed that the whole comfort factor of the pillows fluffy-goodness is completely negated?

Ah the trials and tribulations of being pregnant...

Photo Time

Visual update - 17 Weeks and Counting

I really need to start doing my hair before these pictures. Aside from the loveliness that is my first-thing-in-the-morning-look though, check out that belly! Still pretty small and, admittedly, smaller some days than others (blame it on all the good New York food), but I am definitely looking more and more pregnant as the days go by. Guess that means this all might be real after all.

Singing it from the Rooftops

Now that we are finally "official" and are spreading the word to friends and family, it seemed like starting a blog would be a great way to keep everyone up-to-date regarding Orange Seed's progress. The nice thing about blogs is that you only have to look at them when you choose, so you can decide whether you care to hear about whether or not Orange Seed has fingers, toes, and eyelashes this week or whether you would rather just stay blissfully unaware of all the little developments that keep a parent-to-be fascinated morning, noon, and night (and all the hours in between, if we're being honest).

For those of you who do care...this week Orange Seed is about the size of a woman's clenched fist. Hair is starting to sprout on its little head. Its vocal chords are already beginning to develop (uh oh!). The baby now has individual fingers and toes and based on the last ultrasound, finally looks like a baby, not just like a crustacean, a la 9 week ultrasound.

9 Weeks!

12 Weeks!

Oh! And the moniker...the story of the Orange...so way back in Week 5 when C and I first found out about Orange Seed's existence, I immediately bought us all the Must Have baby books so that we would know what the heck we were getting ourselves into to. If you haven't seen any of these books, they are absolutely fabulous and try to make this little creature, whose existence feels completely surreal for oh so long, at least a little more tangible for you. One way they do that is to describe your child as various fruits and veggies in an attempt to make those "This week your baby is 3.5cm long!" announcements a little easier to grasp. The week we found out that we would be parents come next April, our baby was the size of an orange seed. The title has stuck. Even now, 9 weeks later, when Orange Seed is actually the size of a peach, we're still referring to him/her by his/her original name.

So, 14 weeks down and 26 to go. Amazing how something can feel so real and surreal all at the same time. There's no real belly yet, no outward signs. The ultrasound where we saw him/her swing its little arms and legs was really the most "real" moment we've had. That said, we kiss Orange Seed goodnight (well, Chris does. Little hard for me.), we talk to him/her and we love him/her more than is really reasonable or comprehensible at this point. It's the most amazing experience...we're enjoying every moment.